Jaspar One-Shots

You Know

Summary: Joe loves Caspar, but Caspar hates gays.
WARNINGS: Homophobic, Suicide, Death.

I think you know when your going to fall in love. Maybe it's not at first sight at all, you couldn't even hate them at fight sight. But I think you know when you love them when life becomes easier. You know because you smile when you think of them, you look around the room for them, they are they first thing you think of when you wake up, and the last thing you think of before you go to sleep.

Well, that's what it was for me, anyways.

Caspar was perfect, he honestly was everything I could have ever dreamed of. But the thing was, he didn't even like guys. He was always talking about his girlfriend, or making a joke about gays.
Thing is, I love Caspar. You read it right, I actually love Caspar.
But he doesn't love me.

I always thought that we'd get together, be together forever, get married, adopt a kid and die together. But this isn't a fanfiction, this is real life.
I started to love him when we first moved in together, I had just had a nightmare and ran in to Caspar's room and he held me and made me feel safe.
He was like my safety net, but all nets break. And when he splits and let's me go, I will come crashing down and I will brake more than him.
I wish I wasn't in love. I wish I could speak to him without feeling nervous or scared that I'm going to mess up and embarrass myself.
But then again, I wish I could love him and he could love me back. I wish I could kiss him whenever I wanted, and call him mine. But none of those can happen, and besides, I am going to die now.

I heard footsteps behind me, but I was already gone. And I can swear I heard someone shouting for me to stop, that they loved me. And I swear it was Caspar. But it was too late, and I started to see black, I realised that love can be a beautiful thing, but love can also tear you apart.

So I think you know when your going to fall in love, but you'll never know how to stop.

And I, Joe Sugg, will love Caspar Lee forever.

Joe Sugg, Died Age 25 , 2015.

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