No Angel - Dallas Winston

31

We didn't really do much after that. 

The next few days were the most boring days of my life. 

We ate terrible bologna sandwiches, which I could barely eat since they made me so sick.

We smoked, played poker, and Ponyboy read to us from the book Gone With The Wind. 

Johnny had picked it up from the store the first day they got here, to help pass time. 

I know Ponyboy was always wanting to read that one. 

I don't know if it was the bologna sandwiches or the smoking constantly, but I felt like shit. 

Along with not feeling good and not having an appetite, I was really having a rough time sleeping.  

I don't think I slept through the night since we got here. 

I don't think I slept more than a few hours consistently. 

Maybe being away from Dallas for this long had an effect on me. 

I think I really did miss him. 

I really do like Dallas, and we hadn't been a part from each other for this long. 

I missed his company.  

...

The last night we were there, I woke up in the middle of the night.  

I don't know what did it, maybe I got too cold. 

I grabbed a cigarette, and went outside the back door, so I didn't wake anyone up. 

Well, a few minutes later Ponyboy had wandered out as well. 

He sat down next to me on the grass, as our backs rested against the building. 

"I didn't wake you up, did I?" I asked him.

Ponyboy shook his head, "no, I wasn't really sleeping good to begin with."

I took a long drag from my cigarette, and it was quiet for a while, until Ponyboy spoke again. 

"You've been awful quiet." Ponyboy mentioned. 

"I always am." I shrugged. 

"Yeah, well you just haven't said much. You miss Dallas?" I wasn't expecting him to ask that. 

I don't know how he figured that out. 

Maybe I had a look on my face that told him I did.

"I guess.  I'm used to seeing him all the time, and I'm used to being home.  Everything is different." I said. 

Ponyboy let out a long sigh. 

"I just don't get it, why Dallas?" Ponyboy asked genuinely, "out of all people, why him?"

Usually, when Ponyboy asks or says something about Dallas, he's all whining and annoying. 

Not this time. 

He was asking seriously. 

"He's not as bad as everyone makes him seem, Ponyboy.  Mom liked him, and Johnny likes him-" Ponyboy cut me off mid sentence. 

"I know that, I wanna know why you do. We have established that you two are more than just friends. Friends don't look at each other the way you two do." Ponyboy reiterated. 

I smiled, before I started speaking again. 

"It's the intimacy of understanding." I told him. 

"What's the supposed to mean?" Ponyboy asked, as he took the cigarette from my hand. 

"I understand him, and he understands me. Dallas is different when he's around me, than when he's around you guys. It's about the way he walks at my side, so cars won't drive too close to me.  It's about the way he watches over me at parties, so no one bothers me.  It's about the way we feel when we sit next to each other." I rambled on.

Ponyboy took a long drag from my cigarette, as his mind digested what I had said. 

It's not the fact he didn't understand what I was saying, he was making sure he took in every word. 

"But, after everything with him and Sylvia and his bad record... you still go back to him.  Why? What if in the end after everything,  it doesn't work out? Then what?" Ponyboy asked. 

I laid my head back, and looked up at the sky. 

It was filled with tiny, sparkling stars that I never got to see before in the bright lights of the city.  

"Well, it would be worth it anyway.  Even if it ends somehow.  Even if it ends in such a terrible way were we never speak to each other again.  Because, it just shows that the two of us even as individuals, are capable of love and to be loved." I honestly told him. 

Ponyboy smiled, as he handed me the cigarette back. 

"It's sort of odd isn't it," Ponyboy let out a little light hearted chuckle, "we've both known Dallas the same amount of time, but we both know him in such different ways."

"I think that's just with people in general.  I know you as a shit head brother, but all the teachers think you're a shining star." I joked back. 

Ponyboy gave me a forced, but joking frown. 

"I've been good today." He said. 

"Yeah, yeah, so far." I joked. 

I took one last drag from my cigarette, before stomping the rest out in the grass. 

I stood up and dusted myself off, Ponyboy did the same. 

"I hope you and Dallas work out, and I mean that." Ponyboy admitted to me. 

It was really nice to hear that from him, knowing him and Dallas haven't always gotten along the best to begin with. 

"I hope so too," I said back, "now be better get back to bed."

The two of us quietly snuck back into the church, trying not to wake Johnny up. 

We laid down, and drifted off to sleep.