Mr. Lee

45.

Doctor Kim was quite a charming man.

As arse, but charming nonetheless.

"Heeseung this is our... Third session together, no? " The therapist asked, glancing at his clock as the silence stressed.

"If my calculations are correct, yes" he nodded in agreement.

"Good, because this is starting to feel like my therapy session, considering I've done all the talking since our first session, and if we want to achieve your goal of....? " he drifted.

"Healing for myself and those around me, yeah" Heeseung finished.

"Yes, that. If you're having trouble starting, then why don't we start from the beginning" Doctor Kim offered.

"Like my birth?! " Heeseung guessed.

"Umm, let's skip about 20 years, start from where you think it all began, where your life finally seemed to have outrun you, and feel free to stop in between if it gets too much" The Doctor advised, feeling as though this would be the best course of action.

"The beginning, alright. Me and my friends had gone out, just another usual everyday thing, one of my friends, Jay, his secretary had a friend in need of a job, and I needed a secretary because my last one......... Was otherwise engaged." He started.

"Ah yes, the root of this discussion right? Her? " Doctor Kim questioned.

"Yes, her. We got introduced, and it definitely wasn't love at first sight, we got on well yes, friends I would even say and well....... It was nice, we joked, laughed, banter every now and then" he continued.

"That sounds quite lovely, continue please" the Doctor encouraged.

"And you know me, I'm a flirt, so I said the usual, did the usual, that has the girls charmed and interested, and when she didn't respond to those advances, I simply tried harder, figured that she was one of those people that needed time to respond back" Heeseung responded.

"And did she? Accept your advances at some point? " the therapist asked.

"She did, after many insults and degradations" he chuckled at the memories "but after, I realized that it wasn't that she didn't like me, or wanted nothing to do with me. It was that she didn't believe me" He answered, seemingly processing what he had just said himself.

"What didn't she believe? If I'm not wrong she knew it was just meant to be a certain... Arrangement if I should say, nothing of the sort about being partners and such? Fun for both parties if I may say" the Doctor questioned.

"From the moment we met, she couldn't even phantom the thought that I could even be attracted to her, the fact I could look at her as someone desirable, as someone that I wanted. So everytime we took a step forward, we would take 2 steps back, I watched her mind constantly eat at her, constantly fighting it's imagination with reality" he said as the mood turned somber, a small silence resting in the air.

"And how did you respond that? Her inferior behavior? " Doctor Kim asked, looking as interested in the story.

"At first I thought I felt bad for her, that I wanted to raise her self-esteem, see herself as I saw her, absolutely brilliant. And then in that process, it wasn't just about helping her with her mentality anymore, I wanted to hear her contagious laugh everytime I made a bad joke, I wanted to hold her hand everytime we were walking together, I wanted her to look at me with the kind eyes she gave to others, I wanted to give her a kiss on her head every morning when I woke up. For a while I thought I could make this a reality, make it true but....... " he drifted off, lost in his own thoughts.

"But what Heeseung? Don't stop now" the Doctor encouraged.

"I had problems I was avoiding, she had problems she wanted to distract herself from. We weren't helping each other, it was supposed to feel good, the attraction and attention we gave to each other, but it didn't. She always looked at me with such sad eyes, and at times I couldn't even meet her eyes. We went on until we both reached our limit and were forced to face our demons, and she quit. And left" he finished, the realization of their relationship, from their beginning to this point, an endless repeated circle of frustration and bitterness.

The Doctor stayed silent for a while, processing the information that his client had just given before speaking up again.

"You want to be better, for her, for your friends, for your family and I think something else she made you realize, for yourself." He stated, giving Heeseung a look of understanding.

"I owe to the people who care about me, the people who have put up with my endless nonsense, the people who stayed, when no one else would. " he said, a look of determination on his face.

"Well then, I guess we better start putting our time to good use" Doctor kim answered calmly.

❢

Jay and Heeseung drank their whiskeys silently as the restaurant was filled with several voices from the people around them, each venturing in their own lives.

"It's nice to know you're finally getting the help you need, I'm proud Hyung" Jay stated, breaking the silence.

"Hm, I think I've let life pass me by for far too long, realized it's time I start living, for everyone's sake" Heeseung replied, a look of contempt on his face.

"And once you are? Once you've deemed yourself ready to start living as you truly want to? " Jay asked.

"I'm going to see her again" he answered solemnly, his breathing slow as he stared out into the night, thoughts of her plaguing his mind as they always did, something he had accepted a long time ago.

"And then? What will you do? " Jay asked, pushing his friend to speak from his heart.

"When I see her again, and I will, I'm going to be better, I'm going to stop letting the people who failed me in this life dictate how I live, I'm going to love her with every inch of my soul and make sure she believes me, that she will never have a reason to not believe me, I will tell how much I love her till my voice is gone and my tears are dry, till my knees are sore and my pride obliterated,

Why don't we start from the beginning.

It began with her and My God, I want it to end with her, no longer can I simply imagine what we could be, I will make her laugh till she can't anymore, I will hold her hand so tight it will never slip away, I will kiss her all over until she grows tired of me, I will earn her loving and trusting gaze, that my friend, is what I will do, for her. "

A/N: couldn't leave you guys hanging now could I ;)

Once again thank you to all and any of my readers, I love and appreciate the support much more than you all might think, until the next chapter (๑ت๑)ﾉ