Wait for You (wlw) (Bitter spin-off)

nine

Mei's pov

The bad thing about not getting extremely drunk while going out was being able to remember whatever dumb shit you did the previous evening.

And I'd definitely done something dumb. Which was exactly why I decided to go to the skatepark I'd always go to when I'd just arrived in the city, at least I could distract myself from my thoughts. I'd forgotten how good skating was for releasing any kind of frustration.

Vic had been telling me how bad sleeping with someone who had no intentions of being in a relationship had fucked her up, and I was about to do the exact same to her. Although she seemed to have very much played along with whatever happened. She was the one who didn't even let me close the stall's door before connecting her lips to mine. It wasn't as if I'd forced her to do anything against her will.

But we were kind of in opposite situations. I'd gotten out of a relationship that ended because I was accused of not being able to commit, whatever that meant, and she'd gotten out of a situation where she wanted to start a relationship with someone who didn't want one.

It's not as if I wasn't aware of my own issues, I knew Sarah had started to give up on us when she noticed I'd avoid any kind of discussion about living together and our future in general. She wasn't the problem, I was sure we genuinely loved each other for many months, but I was just too scared of it all. I didn't even know why, but I was scared of taking any steps that would make it too official. It made me feel constrained.

I didn't like feelings, or being too involved in anything. I wanted to feel free and have fun, something I thought could be possible while in a long term relationship. But maybe not. Not for me, at least. Which made me feel guilty for hurting Sarah, although I couldn't do much about it. I didn't realize I wasn't going to be able to be in an actual serious relationship until the moment arrived.

And it was one thing knowing my own limits and issues, but getting broken up with in the most verbally aggressive way possible because of it was completely different. Sarah had accused me of cheating on her, told me I'd never go anywhere in life and other equally bad stuff because I'd told her I didn't want to move in with her yet.

From that moment onwards, I started to think that maybe there was something wrong with me. Maybe I was wrong. I was doomed to disappointing girls for the rest of my life and would never be happy.

Part of the reason I'd started to go out and have one night stands as much as I could in the past months had been wanting to prove that I could still be happy that way to myself. Who was Sarah to tell me what would make me happy or not? But maybe it'd gotten a little out of hand, because I suddenly found myself extremely behind on college work and too tired to do anything that wasn't laying in bed when I didn't have classes. At least skating came so naturally to me that I didn't need to put much effort into it.

Once I snapped out of my thoughts, I realized I was actually moving in a way too aggressive way, my board's wheel making an unnecessary amount of noise against the concrete.

"Mei?" I suddenly heard a familiar voice come from behind me.

I turned around to see Sophie, one of my friends I'd met through skating during the previous year. I was pretty close with all of the people I'd met in that exact place, we'd always hung out together when we'd first started college and I'd been invited to many parties thanks to them. I was actually missing all of them since I hadn't skated in so long, so I was glad to see her.

"Soph! Hi!" I said as I got off my board and walked towards her.

"Hi! I wasn't sure it was you" the blonde said with a chuckle. "You haven't come here in so long, I'm so happy to see you!" she added as we hugged.