Khaotung was standing at the buffet with Min-Joo in his arms. Min-Joo had ordered scrambled eggs and was now watching with great interest as the man in front of him prepared the requested dish. The whole thing calmed First down immensely, because he was always happy when his picky eater son tried something new. Ever since the little family had been in Pattaya, Min-Joo had loved scrambled eggs, there was just one problem - they had to be on vacation for him to eat them or Khaotung had to prepare them.
Exactly the same with durian, toast and tomatoes. "Por Khao, look!" said the little boy excitedly as the man handed them the plate. Khaotung took it, thanked him and turned around with the laughing boy in his arms to go to the table. "Sorry you had to wait." "No problem, my love." said First and took the plate. He put it on the table and waited until Khao and Min were also sitting down. "Por, I want to sit on your lap." said Min-Joo and pouted. "But Por also wants to have breakfast in peace, just like you, Min-Joo." First didn't really have anything against it, but he tried to convey the right values to his son. For example, that you should ask nicely, but you don't always get everything just because you want it. In the best case scenario, that would work... if it weren't for Min-Joo's big little eyes, which were hard to ignore with the puppy dog look. "Por please..." said the little one in a quiet voice and First sighed. He took the little one on his lap and moved the plate to his side. "What did you tell me yesterday - he doesn't always get everything just because he wants it? - Fir fir?" asked Khao grinning and First shook his head. "It's not my fault. He has the same puppy dog eyes as you." The younger one laughed lightly and winked at Min-Joo, who now began to giggle. "You two are in cahoots, I can see that." joked First and finally started to eat his breakfast.
Minutes passed and First put down his fork, laid his cheek on the boys head and gave him a small kiss. "First?" Khao asked carefully and watched as his boyfriend burst into tears again. "I'm sorry." "No, don't apologize!" "But why are you crying?" Their son asked. "Because I love you very much, Singto..." he said and looked at the little boy. "I love you very much, Min, and I'm incredibly happy to have you." "Por I am happy that you are my father." The little kid said. "I'm sorry." First said again. "No, baby stop apologizing." Khao said and held his hand tightly. "I don't know why I am emotional like that. I just feel like I failed to protect my kid." He whispered. "You didn't. Believe me your the best dad ! You love him and you do everything for him. It's not your fault that Areum acted like that. It's not your fault that she failed your son. This is on her. And I get that it hurts to hear something like that especially if it's about your kid. But you have to keep in mind that you offer your child everything he needs." "Our child." First corrected his boyfriend. "We offer our son everything he needs." Khao smiled at the boy with shining eyes. "Min-Joo is growing up protected and loved. You probably won't get an answer as to why she acted like this and said things like that, because Areum certainly doesn't know herself. But it's good the way it is." First nodded and hugged Min-Joo a little tighter. "Yes, it's perfect the way it is." He smiled slightly and squeezed Khaotungs hand. "And also.. the Fiat thing will surely be cleared up, First." "Now that I know the reason, I'm a little relieved but still disappointed. The whole thing ruined our good relationship and even if his intentions weren't bad, his behavior was bad." "Uncle Fiat loves por." Min said with his mouth full of egg. "Fiat wanted to protect me and in the process became my greatest enemy."
"You should take the time to process everything. Don't rush into anything, the most important thing is that you're okay." First nodded and sighed. "I want to forgive Fiat. I really do. I'm just afraid that I can't." "You don't have to force yourself, Fir fir. Just let it happen, everything will be okay."
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"Por, por Khao, look !" Min-Joo yelled and giggled as he ran through the park. "Look ! Look !" He said over and over agin, pointing towards some cats. "Por Khao, look, cats !" "I see them Min. They're cute, right ?" "Yes ! Por I want a cat !" "You want a cat ? But por Khao has a little dog. I don't know if they'll get along." "Por Khao can I see your dog ?" "Yes of course dear. You can see her sometime when we're back, okay ?" The little kid nodded and Khao turned to look at First, who was standing behind him and looked down embarrassed. "First?" he asked, his smile faded as he looked to the side where he saw two older men who were looking at them very judgementally. "Baby..." he said and walked towards First. He grabbed his hand and pulled him along. "Just ignore these guys, they don't know us, honey." "I know..." "That sort of thing happens everywhere and it will probably happen more often. "Not everything can always be rosy, there are always idiots and life can get messy sometimes." "Khao, do you think I did the wrong thing?" "What are you talking about?" "Do you think it was wrong to put my sexuality above the well-being of my child?" Khaotung looked at First in shock. "What are you talking about?" He asked, kind of hurt, but First just sighed. "I was selfish in wanting to live out my sexuality with the thought that I have a son who will probably be bullied for the rest of his life for having two..." First stopped and pushed Khaos' hand away. He took a deep breath and avoided the others gaze. "I mean one father who is attracted to men, while his half-siblings have a normal family."
The younger one knew that First talked like that out of fear and sadness, but that didn't change the fact that he was now seriously hurting his boyfriend.
Khaotung looked at the other with tears in his eyes. "First... what do you mean by that?" "I just mean... when Min calls me por and then calls you por Khao... I mean... Khaotung, I've seen the looks we get." "We're in a small town, First, that's not Bangkok." "Even in Bangkok it would be selfish for me to do that to my son." "Do what? Being there for him ? Supporting and helping him, so that he feels and knows that he has two parent figures in his life who love him and are there for him, like his birth mother couldn't ?" "Khao, stop it." "You're saying it's selfish of you to love me? Min loves me. Just as much as I love you two." "He's a child!" "But he knows that he is loved!" "But what if he has problems in the future just because I can't love women? Just because I can't be straight ?"
Khaotung was speechless. First would surely regret this conversation in a few hours, but right now it felt like he was breaking up with him. It broke Khaotungs heart and he didn't know what to do to end this whole conversation. There was only one question burning in his soul...
"So you regret being with me?" "I didn't say that." "Well, not exactly, but you're just beating around the bush." "Khao, I'm saying what I think." "You're not, you're just saying what your hurt pride and self-esteem are telling you." "Stop it..." First said, clenching his hand into a fist. "I asked you - So you regret being with me?!" "I regret that I'm not normal!" First shouted back and Khao became quiet. He looked at the other, unable to hold back his tears any longer, and finally - First realized what he did..
He opened his eyes wide and tried to reach out to his boyfriends shoulder, but the latter backed away. "Khao, I'm sorry... I didn't mean it like that..." "I know." Khao simply said and turned around to leave. "Khao, wait-" "Don't follow me. I want to be alone for a moment." Khao said and disappeared. "Por, where is Por Khao going?" Min asked as he came running. First picked him up and took a deep breath. "Por messed up and Por Khao doesn't want to see me now." he explained to the little boy who immediately started scolding him. "That's not nice por! you have to apologize." "Yes. yes I have to."
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Hey hey hey :)
Their 'first' real fight as a couple..
Damn, it hurt to write that.
Hope you guys can forgive me for this chapter haha !
See you in the next one.
-Jessy
YOU ARE READING
I'ma give you the world. -KhaoFirst
Fanfic🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙 >>When will it get better ?<< he thought and lit up another cigarette. "It won't get better.." He told himself. 🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙 Khaotung, a bubbly, friendly young boy, who's been through a lot. He makes sure to...
