I'ma give you the world. -KhaoFirst

Let's go home.

"It's okay Min." Khaotung said over and over again, trying to calm the little boy.
The atmosphere was tense, First and Khao still barely spoke to each other. First had tried, but Khaotung still blocked it and acted as if everything was okay... Except that he had reduced physical contact to zero. First wasn't allowed to kiss him, hug him, or even hold him while he was sleeping, because that would wake Khaotung up immediately. "Min-Joo, everything is okay." said Khao and stretched his hand back to the crying boy. "You'll definitely come back here sometime." he said and the little boy calmed down a bit.
"What do you mean 'You will.' Aren't we coming back as a family ?" First asked calmly. With every day and every word from Khaotungs mouth, he realized how much he had hurt the other. He wanted to apologize right after the argument, but now he felt more like he should beg. Khaotungs broken heart, which he only had because of First, broke his own heart. He loves Khaotung. He loves him so much.
"Khao ?" "I don't know. Maybe." First sighed and Khao looked out the window. The young man looked completely lost in thought as he sat there next to him. First slowly tried to grab the other mans leg with his left hand and when he finally did so and Khao didn't smack his hand away, First breathed a sigh of relief. "Khao, can we talk?" "Don't think too much of it. I'm just not smacking your hand away because your son is sitting in the back." "My son?" "Isn't that what you said? Your son. Not ours." "Khao, baby I didn't mean it like this, I swear." "First.. It's fine. I just don't have the energy to talk about it right now." First stopped the car and sighed. They were now stuck in a traffic jam, in the middle of their first real argument in their relationship and with a small child who had just fallen asleep. Firsts thoughts were racing and he felt terrible. One worry in particular was at the forefront.
"You're not going to break up with me, are you?" he asked and tears immediately welled up in his eyes. Khao turned to First and for the first time in days he really looked at him . They just looked at each other. "Khao..?" First asked again and almost choked on his strange breathing. Khaotung opened his mouth and slowly brought his hand to Firsts face to wipe away the tears. "First listen to me.." he said and somehow, this made First even more anxious. "You've hurt me pretty badly, okay." Khao began and First nodded, crying pretty badly. "But just because I don't want to talk about it right now, doesn't mean that I'd leave you. I won't break up with you. I love you." "I love you too." First sobbed. "I love you so much, I am so sorry." Khao shushed him and shook his head. "We will talk about it, but not now. Okay ?" First nodded and wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. Khaotung smiled and turned back to look out the window.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

"God First, we were so worried about you!" said his mother and pulled him into her arms. "You were just gone!" she continued and pulled Khao into her embrace as well. "No message, nothing. We had to ask Fiat and he didn't know where you were either... I mean, of course, why would he, you hate each other." "I don't hate Fiat." said First suddenly, much to his mothers surprise. "I've never hated Fiat. On the contrary. I love him, he is and will always be my brother, no matter what happens." "What are you talking about ? Your brother treats you very badly !" "Mae, wake up ! Fiat is your son, just like I am. Why are you always like this ?" "Now don't you start this bullshit just like he did. I'm such a bad mother, blablabla. You don't care that I've done and still do everything for you !" "Mae, we love you, but damn, you often don't even treat Fiat like your son. When I was angry with him, I thought it was good that you were always on my side, but Mae, I wasn't always right, I was sometimes mean to him and you always defended me anyway. Mae, I really love you very much, but I understand why Fiat often felt left out by you." "How dare you-" "Dear, stop it." His father suddenly interrupted. "I know you don't want to hear it but yes, they're right. We love Fiat just as much as we love First but it's true. Somehow we treated them both differently. I don't know why we did it, but I feel awful about that. You should accept that and stop trying to defend our actions." "But-" "No. Honey, please." The woman looked at her husband in disbelief. "Are you saying we're bad parents ?" "No. At least not for First. But for Fiat ? Yes. I think at some point we neglected him, I just don't know why.." "Mae.." First said and watched as she sat down, crying. "But.. But I love him. He's my child, our child." "I love him as well. We have to make it up to him." "Would you excuse us, we need to go get some stuff." "What ? First are you guys leaving again ?" "We're going to live at my condo for some time." "What ? Why ?" "Mae, calm down. I just want to go to my condo with Khao and Min." "Is it because of me ?" "No, mae I said calm down." "Dear come here.." his dad said and went to hug his wife. "I can't do this right now.." she suddenly said, pushed her husband away and left the room.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

"Why is this happening ?" First asked monotonously. "I mean, all the stress that's going on in both of our lifes, why do we have to deal with so much?" "I don't know." Khao answered, just as monotonously. They didn't look at each other, they just sat next to each other on Firsts couch with some distance between them. Min-Joo was lying in his bed in his room and was fast asleep. When Min slept, he slept like a log. The baby monitor was on the table in front of them and they both sat in absolute silence... Until Khao sighed.

"I think I'm ready to talk..."
"Really ?" asked First and was immediately close to tears again. Khaotung nodded and smiled, his eyes also sparkling through the tears that threatened to fall. "I don't want to argue with you, First. I was just really hurt." "And I'm so incredibly sorry. I know what I said was really mean. I'm so sorry that I acted like you weren't Mins por. Because you are. for him, for me and in the eyes of everyone else. You are Mins father and you are my boyfriend. I love you so much, Khao, and I'm so sorry." First could hardly breathe and could barely get a word out without stuttering through the tears that almost choked his throat. "I know that you felt overwhelmed and that the stupid looks and comments hurt you in a situation in which you were already very sensitive. I was really angry with you and those words. That really hurt me a lot. But I have been the most understanding person for you and this won't change. I never intended to leave you for a second, First. I was just disappointed and hurt and I had to process that before I could talk to you. I didn't want our conversation to be guided by negative feelings, but by reasonable and honest thoughts." First nodded and tried to wipe away his tears, but he couldn't because he couldn't stop crying. "Thank you for the apology," Khao said, smiling gently. He moved closer to First and wiped away his tears before pulling him closer and stroking the other's hair. "It's okay, baby, I'm here."

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

Hey hey hey :)

Another chapter and finally - FirstKhao made up. Sorry for making you guys wait so long.🙏🏻

Hope y'all liked this chapter and I'll see you in the next one ^^

-Jessy