second chances ~ ollie bearman (2)

part 24

once the national anthem was over, i make my way over to ollie and kimi because unluckily i wasn't stood near them. as we were stood chatting, someone came over to tell us that the race had been delayed, and the fia would give an update in 10 minutes.

"well, is there a limit on how long the race can be delayed?" ollie asks.

"well in addition to the race time, it can't be over three hours." i reply, whilst holding onto his arm, resting my head on his shoulder as his other hand was holding the umbrella above the both of us.

i wasn't really in the conversation, i was thinking about how i could try to make this a perfect race.

"hey, you okay?" ollie says quietly.

"mhm, just thinking ahead." i reply.

"you remembered to eat right?"

"oh well jules always brings food and stays until im done, so yeah. and you don't need to worry about that anymore, you know that." i reply.

"i know, but it's been a difficult time recently." he says.

"ollie, i'm okay. really, you don't need to worry." i say, trying to reassure him.

and it wasn't a lie. not completely. i don't eat like normal people, like him or kimi, or paul. some days its fine, but on other days it isn't. and im afraid to admit it, because i dont want them to worry.  recently, it has been worse more than better. but with ollie back, that should change.

another few minutes pass, and we all head back to the garages, however ollie comes to aston martin with me.

"what are you going to do if you win?" jules says, walking over to us.

"what do you mean?" i ask, confused.

"you know, a celebration?" he says.

"oh right, well i don't know. haven't thought about it i guess." i say, shrugging my shoulders.

"i dare you bow down." jules says, ollie laughing at my reaction.

"jules, i am not bowing down."

"are you going to back out of the dare?" ollie says, smiling.

"yes, i'm not doing that." i reply.

"come on, you should!" ollie says, puppy eyes showing.

"okay fine!" i say, shaking my head at the both of them.

"i hate you." i say, ruffling his hair.

"well, hate him or not, the rain has slowed down. we've got a race." jules says, a grin appearing on his face.

"fuck." i say, laughing a little.

i say goodbye to ollie, who heads back to his garage. the formation lap was said to start in 15 minutes, so i decide to spend those in the car listening to my music through the radio.

"okay angel, time to stop the music." jules says a little while later. the canopies were gone, replaced with a single umbrella over the cockpit.

"awh, we couldn't finish the song?" i complain.

"sorry angel, formation lap starts in a minute."

"how are you jules?" i ask, trying to distract myself.

"i'm great angel, thank you." he says, and i could hear him laugh a little.

"that's brilliant. the weather is not very good no?"

"not at all, but it looks like it could stop during the race."

"ouch." i say, before starting the formation lap as the lights go out.

"okay, norris beside you. then piastri, leclerc, hamilton." jules says, half way round the formation lap.

"i'll try not to mess up for you jules."

i line up in the first grid position, as the rest of the drivers line up behind me. i could hear each beat of my heart as if i was in an empty room. i try to take a deep breath to cancel out the nerves, but it doesn't. it would be a lie if i said this was the most nerve wracking race yet.

1 light...
2 lights...
3 lights...
4 lights...
5 lights...

"its lights out and away we go for the italian grand prix for the first time in 2025! lando norris gets away well, whilst antonelli has a bad start. poor kid..."

fuck fuck fuck.

i don't know what happened, i think i stalled the car. all i knew was that as i go into the first corner, i wasn't in first. or second. i could cry, i was a fucking failure.

"jules i messed it all up." i say, hitting my helmet with one hand.

"no you haven't angel."

"you can't even lie to me over this, i know i have."

"okay, then yes. you messed up the start. but, this race is 63 laps. it's lap 3..." jukes starts to say, but my mind moves away from listening to him.

flashback

i was 7 years old, playing at the park with my best friend florence. after running around and playing for hours, we finally had a break and lay down next to each other on the grass, holding hands whilst not caring about the mud stains that would appear on our clothes.

"what do you want to be when your older like our mommies flo?"

"i want to be a flight attendant, because they are very pretty. what about you lee?"

"i want to be a racing car driver, and i want to win in italy and, and everyone will be there happy." i say confidently.

"can i come?"

"of course you can! your my best friend."

"your my best friend too! when you win i will cheer the loudest for you."

normal time...

"angel?" jules says.

"what's the gap to the car ahead?" i ask.

|| authors note ~ i love this next part!!! hope you enjoy 🫶🏼

so, im not nearly done with this book, don't worry. however, i've had an amazing idea for my next book and to write down my idea i need an idea of which driver to do.

i was thinking maybe charles, or max? but im happy to write about any driver, and want to know who you would rather read 🤍