second chances ~ ollie bearman (2)

part 98

i did not want my conversations recorded, but i sort of knew i had no choice. i decided to call kimi first, he's been there for me throughout everything. sometimes, all you need is a brother's support. even better, a twin's support.

at least netflix would only hear my side of the conversation.

i click on kimi's contact as i sit down the corridor floor, netflix filming me from a few steps away, and by now jules had gone to talk to mike and lawrence.

(italian)

(kimi's replies in bold)

"lina! how did it go? can you still race?"
"i don't know yet... i have to wait 30 minutes for a decision."
"how do you think the tests went?"
"good i hope? i completed them all, but there's this dickhead and i have a feeling he doesn't like me very much."
"he wouldn't ban you from racing just because he doesn't like you, now matter how much of a dickhead he is. theres data to prove that you can race."
"i know, i know. but i passed out last time. you should have seen the way he looked at me kimi."
"well then he's a nonce."
"the fia does not need a horner-style investigation."
"i actually forgot about that. i'm sure he's not a nonce, just incredibly rude and judgemental."
"i hope not. you know im going to make a great drive to survive episode. i can guarantee the name will be the weight of pressure or some shit."
"look at you, making jokes."
"when i get home i can tell you all about my new best friend, safely away from the cameras."
"i'll be looking forward to it."

i spoke to kimi for a while longer, my nerves being slightly eased as i forgot about the fate-deciding decision which was yet to come. it was nice talking to kimi, because i love him truly.

what was meant to be a few minute call, turned into half an hour. because before i knew it, i was called back to the meeting room by jules.

"just breathe okay?" he says as we walk towards the room, my heart pounding in my chest.

"no, i can't do it." i say, about to reach for the door.

"yes you can." jules says, as i shake my head.

"it's going to be okay, no matter what the decision is." he says softly, putting his hand in my back as he opens the door, gently pushing me into the room.

"angelina, so glad you could finally join us." steve says, an insufferable look on his face.

"i was talking to my brother." i say, sitting down in a seat beside jules, my leg bouncing up and down self consciously.

i could feel my heartbeat going 10x as fast as it should, i could barely hear anything else over the noise of it; and my thoughts running round my head.

all i could think of is the worst possible outcomes of today.

"so, we've come to the decision that as of right now you can stay racing..." steve says, about to continue before he gets cut off by lawrence, jules and mike, and i could tell he was not happy.

"see, i told you there was nothing to worry about."

"what exactly do you mean by as of right now?" lawrence asks.

"she can race until the end of the season, and next season is not confirmed yet. we will reassess, do more tests closer to the time. but for now, we will have a schedule that she is obligated to follow. it's strict, but we need here to gain 5kg for next season to race. so, this is just a rough idea about what it will be like for yourselves to look over." steve says, as i get handed a piece of paper.

i read through it, getting fixated on all the numbers, and i couldn't think about anything else. my mind was taken up by it all, it was so overwhelming. i could feel my breath picking up, getting faster and harder, the room felt like it was closing in on me, all the cameras watching, people staring at me.

i couldn't stay here.

i quickly stand up, and walk out of the room, the tears building up in my eyes as the door slams behind me. i keep walking, walking until i find a corridor with a dead end, and slide down the wall onto the floor, the tears now falling down my face in sobs as i hid my face between my chest and knees.

i heard the footsteps after me, pushing me to hide my face with my hair even more.

"move out of my way." jules says, pushing his way past the netflix camera crew and kneeling down beside me as i tried to breathe through my tears.

"hey, hey, hey your okay." he says softly, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"i-i can't... do it." i manage to say, lifting my head up against the wall, my face drowned in tears whilst still trying to breathe.

"just breathe okay? in and out, with me." he says, as i try to breathe in time with him, but failing as i notice the cameras still filming from further back.

jules moves to block me from sight, telling me to breathe.

"it's alright." he says softly, after a few minutes i manage to get my breathing under control but the tears were still falling.

"i can't."

"that guy was a dick. i know, but he is right about the fact you need to gain weight on some sort of plan, you know that."  jules says, tears still falling down my face.

"don't make me go back in there." i beg.

"no, no of course you don't have too. how about, i take you to your room, you can call ollie, or kimi. and i'll sort out everything with steve." he says, and i nod slowly.

"are they.... still there?" i ask, meaning the netflix cameras who clearly did not understand i didn't want to be followed.

"they won't follow you into your room." he says, helping me up as i nod, and walking me into my room, taking the microphone with him.

|| authors note ~ hope you enjoy! 🫶🏼