second chances ~ ollie bearman (2)

part 69

once we finally got back to the hotel room, i sat down on my side of the bed, and plugged my phone in charge as it was down to the last 10% of battery.

"i'm telling jules you aren't going." ollie says, taking his phone out of his pocket.

"ollie! im fine! why don't you believe me?" i say, trying to take his phone from his hand, but fail miserably.

"well, i mean. you did lie about not eating today, and who knows how many times. so how do i not know your lying now? ollie says, and i didn't know how to reply, so i didnt. i stayed silent. although, im sure my face gave away my response. i couldn't even look at him in the face.

your so fucking stupid, how would you let him find out? so pathetic.

"ang, please. i know your eating disorder has come back, and you know it too." he says softly, taking hold of my hand, to which i don't respond, and keep my eyes focused on the bedding in front of me, trying to prevent the tears from falling down my face. which didn't work.

"come here." ollie says, pulling me into his arms, and into his chest, where i let out my tears. tears that had been building up for a while.

"your okay, i've got you baby." ollie says softly, gently stroking my back.

"i'm sorry, im sorry." i say quietly.

"it isn't your fault, this isn't your fault. you couldn't control it."

i cried in ollie's arms for a while, too long to count, but once i had finally stopped, he helped me chance into some comfier clothes, before lying with me on the bed, barely even leaving me for a second, ready to comfort me when i started crying again which happened multiple times that night.

i didn't get much sleep, even after ollie fell asleep i couldn't. i lay there, tears still falling down my face as i tried not to wake him up. it was early morning when i managed to fall asleep and i still woke up two hours later.

"good morning." ollie says softly, as i turn to face him.

"morning." i say quietly.

"how are you feeling? did you get much sleep?"

"i'm... fine. but no, not really."

"do you want to try and go back to sleep? it's only 7."

"no, i don't think i will be able too. i need to shower anyway." i say, sitting up in bed, wiping my tears-stained face with my hands.

"do you need any help?" ollie offers, sitting up beside me.

"no, no i'll be okay. thanks though." i say, kissing ollie on the cheek before combing out of bed and grabbing a towel.

"ang?" ollie says.

"yeah?" i reply, turning around to face him.

"i love you, you know that right?"

"yeah, i know... i love you too." i reply, giving him a smile before entering the bathroom.

ollie's pov:

"yeah, i know. i love you too." she says, giving me a weak smile before walking into the bathroom.

once the door was shut, i leaned back against the headboard and ran my hand through my hair. i couldn't stop worrying about her, i mean she's practically killing herself whilst not accepting any help. and i want to help her, i don't want to loose her.

why can't she see herself like i see her? she's the most perfect, gorgeous, funny, amazing girl ever. i just can't imagine what's going through her mind, and i can't help her.

i don't want to do anything behind her back, i don't want her to argue with me. but there's no way i can get anyone to help her, she just wouldn't let me. do i tell jules? do i tell kimi?

i don't know, its scaring me. i can't loose her, she's the most important person in the world to me. i love her more than anything.

i want her to want to get better, but i don't want to scare her. she needs to know the danger she's putting herself in, and im not going to stop trying to help her, even if she doesn't accept my help.

|| authors note ~ hope you enjoy 🫶🏼

posting today as i can't post tomorrow!