second chances ~ ollie bearman (2)

part 32

30 minutes later, we were lying in my bed. ollie squished in the middle, kimi taking up half of my bed, and me holding onto ollie for dear life trying to not fall of the bed.

finally, kimi moves over and we all have enough space on the bed. but now it was time to choose the movie.

"but harry potter is an amazing film." i argue.

"but we always watch that, i bet you could say every single line." kimi replies.

"english, italian, french or spanish?"

"neither! let's just watch a horror film." kimi says, whilst ollie was just laughing at us both.

"ew no, i hate horror films. too scary." i say shaking my head.

"how about gran turismo?" ollie suggests.

"fine." me and kimi say at the same time.

"so what food are we ordering?" kimi asks.

"hold on, i don't trust you all to eat in my bed." i say.

"urghh do we really have to move to my room?" kimi asks.

"yes!" i say, and we all move to kimi's room, taking our positions on his bed.

"pizza?" ollie suggests, and for once we all agree.

after another hour, the food finally arrives and we start the film. but to be honest, we barely watched the film for the first half an hour, we were sat talking together.

but finally, as we all get tired we get quieter and begin to actually watch the film, not without the odd comment here and there though.

by the time the film was finished, both kimi and ollie were asleep, so i quickly get out of the bed and head to my room, turning in my laptop and sitting down at the desk.

as jules had said, he sent me an email will all upcoming events and fuck me, a lot was an understatement. i was going to be busy for weeks. if i wasnt racing or at aston martin, i had interviews, if i didnt have interviews i had sponsorship videos, if it wasnt that, it was advertising. i barely had 10 days of rest in the next two months.

well, at least starting early will prepare me for the rest of my career. after putting it all into my calendar, i turn off my computer and head down to the piano, bringing my song book with me.

i sit at the piano, my hands in the keys. but i couldn't bring myself to play like normal. i just couldn't do it, something was stopping me. it was so... frustrating.

i bang my hands down on the keys, a loud clashing sound coming out as i quickly gasp forgetting that the piano made sound. i was scared i had woken up kimi and ollie, but thankfully i see they were still asleep after sneaking upstairs.

i sit back down at the piano, not even putting my hands in the keys. i was just staring at it, trying to think about playing. but i was exhausted. as much as i didn't want to sleep, i couldn't help myself from falling asleep on the piano. after all, it was about 3 in the morning.

"ang? you need to wake up baby." ollie says softly, holding me in arms.

"don't leave me, please..." i mumble, still half asleep, still half in my dream, my nightmare.

"ang, wake up come on. i'm not leaving you." ollie says, his grip tightening on me.

"please."

"ang, come on baby." ollie says, shaking me a little harder.

"mmm." i say, slowly waking up, looking across at ollie.

"are you okay?" he asks, genuine worry in his eyes.

"y-yeah, of course i am." i say, giving him a slight smile.

"why were you asleep down here?"

"just, couldn't get to sleep upstairs. sorry to worry you baby." i say, resting my head on his shoulders as we sit in silence for a few minutes.

"ang, you won't lie to me will you?"

"of course not, why are you even asking that."

"the other day, why did you flinch away from me?"

i can't lie to him, but i can't tell him the truth.

"just a nightmare, i wasn't fully awake yet." i say, giving him a reassuring smile.

"ang please." he says, taking my hand in his.

"it's just a nightmare ol." i say, refusing to look at him

"it's just a nightmare, but it happens every night? your afraid to go to sleep, yet your saying it's just a nightmare. i'm not stupid." ollie says softly, turning my head to face him.

"it's not fun being reminded of the worst moments in your life. flo's dead, you leave, kimi leaves and nick does... what he does best." i say.

"baby, why didn't you say anything." ollie says, pulling my head into his chest.

"i didn't want you to feel bad."

"i love you, but you need to put yourself before others okay?" he says, before we sit in silence.

"so, is kimi awake?" i ask a few minutes later.

"yeah, he's in the shower now. do you want to make breakfast together again?"

"i don't think we have much food left, i think we might need to go to the shop. but you fly back tonight right?"

"yeah, i do. i'm sorry i couldn't stay for longer."

"don't worry about it, we could spend the day in the pool?" i suggest. even through sunday was a rain storm, today it was sunny and warm. weird.

"yeah, i'll go to the shop now if you tell kimi when he wakes up?"

"let me know how much it is afterwards then."

"your cute, and funny. no." ollie says, getting up from the seat and kissing my forehead once again.

"i mean it!" i say, turning to face him.

"whatever you say." he says, but i knew he wouldn't let me send him the money. even after yesterday, he sent the money back to my account and refused it when i tried to send it back.

|| authors note ~ hope you enjoy 🫶🏼