second chances ~ ollie bearman (2)

part 82

angel's pov:

"please ang, look at me. i hate it when your mad at me."

i couldn't not look up at him, but the regret and sadness in his eyes made it impossible to keep my eyes on his gorgeous gorgeous face.

"what do you want me to do ollie?" i say, staring at the floor.

"im sorry." he says, as i keep my stare on the ground, fighting the want to look up at him and tell him it was alright, tell him everything was okay. that i was stupid. that i was scared. i didn't want to accept my eating disorder, not for the second time.

"im sorry." he says, taking hold of my hands, and i hesitantly look up at him.

"please, talk to me baby."

"what? what do you want me to say?"

"that your not angry with me."

"im not angry at you, this isn't your fault. i just need some time alone. i will see you tonight." i say, before kissing his cheek, hoping that would help him believe that i truly wasn't mad, before walking away and climbing into another taxi.

once i was at the track, i spoke to jules. even without ollie, i managed to do it. and i managed to do it without crying. and with jules' help i managed to get out of media for the next two days. all i had to do was meetings with the team, driving the car, and one interview after qualifying, and the race. and when i wasnt doing either of those, i was sat on the floor of my drivers room with my headphones on, and music playing to distract me.

later that night, i made sure to wait until the majority of the paddock had gone home before calling my taxi. even though i had done a lot less than normal for a qualifying day, i was exhausted, and couldn't wait to sleep. although i knew ollie wouldn't let me. he had tried to come and see me in the garage, i had to send jules to escort him out.

i guess, im just scared of telling him how i really feel. scared if he will laugh, scared if he would be angry, if he would be embarrassed to be seen with me. not to mention that i haven't spoken to lando; or kimi either.

i open the hotel door, and head to the bedroom. ollie wasn't there. the bathroom door was open, he wasn't in there, he wasn't outside. where was he?

oh god, have i made a mistake? have i done something wrong? i sit down on the bed, thinking about what i should do. call him. i take my phone out of my pocket, and call ollie's phone immediately and within three rings he had answered the phone.

(ollie's replies in bold)

"oh my god, where are you?"
"im outside the hotel room,  can you come open up? i've left my key."

i practically run to the door, and pull it open. ollie wasn't stood there,  perfectly fine, not injured, gorgeous, with a bag in his hand, his phone held to his ear with the other.

i take the bag off him, and wrap my arms around his neck, placing my head on his shoulder.

"hello to you too." he says, placing his arm back around me.

"you should have messaged me to say you weren't back yet!" i say , once we were both inside the hotel room.

"my phone died, and i thought i would be back a while ago. im sorry."

"well, i had a shorter day than normal without media. i just worried for a moment when you weren't here."

"im sorry, are you okay now? after this morning?"

"yes, i am. i told jules today."

"you did?" he asks, a hint of shock in his voice as i nod.

"yeah, uhm with jules i did."

for once, i didn't lie. i did eat. jules brought his food to my room, and we sat and ate. it wasn't much, just a protein bar. but it's still something right?

"well done baby." he says, kissing the top of my head.

"it was harder, then when i was with you."

"but you still did it."

"it wasn't much. not really."

"but you still did it. and that's really good."

"thank you... so what did you buy from the store?"

"oh yeah." he says, getting up from the bed and grabbing the bag.

"for you m'lady." he says, bowing down whilst handing me a bouquet of peonies. my favourite flowers.

"ollie, you didn't have too." i say, taking the flowers from him and thanking him.

"well as your boyfriend, it is my job to buy you flowers."

"oh, so your my boyfriend now?"

"fiancée." he corrects himself.

"much better." i say, before kissing him and ruffling him hair.

"and, some chocolate. you don't have to eat it, if you don't want too. but, in case you do want it. it's here."

"what did i do to deserve you." i say, smiling at him.

"nothing." he says, before gently tackling me to the bed.

"but the question is, mrs bearman. what did i do to deserve you." he says, resting his head on my stomach as i play with his hair.

"i can't wait to marry you."

"well, then let's not wait that long."

"ollie, we couldn't possibly get married soon, we have no time to plan it! or at least even have the wedding."

"what about next year? that gives us time to plan."

"i think you forgot the season takes up pretty much the whole year. when would we have the day?

"then after the season has finished. a christmas wedding."

"you know you want too baby."

"of course i do."

"then it's planned. you will finally be mrs bearman, in December 2026."

|| authors note ~ hope you enjoy! won't be posting for a few days, i'm going to be quite busy, sorry! 🫶🏼