Loki Laufeyson - Saviour {2}

Chapter Fifty Three - I'm Going to Tell Them

"Did you sleep well?" Loki murmured to me softly the next morning almost as soon as I sat down, his fingers tangling with mine underneath the table.

"Yeah." I nodded, looking up at him with a soft smile, admiring the different hues of green in his eyes.

He chuckled after a couple of seconds and squeezed my hands gently under the table, my face going bright red as I suddenly realised that I had been staring at him for too long. I wanted nothing more than to just curl up under the table and melt into a puddle of embarrassment.

Thankfully, I managed to save whatever shred of dignity I had left and distracted myself by beginning to pile up my plate with food. Loki comfortingly brushed his hand along the side of my leg, but I couldn't bring myself to look up at him again, knowing that he could probably see my ears burning, and that was embarrassing enough. Nat's pointed looks across the table weren't helping either, it was like she was trying to catch me doing something and was going to make a massive announcement of it the moment she saw.

Breakfast managed to, thankfully, pass without any more issues and once I had helped Pepper clean up, Loki and I retreated to the Library as quietly as we could. It was like a little safe haven, none of the other's could be bothered to come there, so it was just the two of us. I was curled up against his chest, knees drawn up from where we were sitting on the plush chair by the window. His chin was resting on my head and he had one arm wrapped around me as he read, his fingers gently tracing patterns on my skin. I was reading my own book, but my thoughts were constantly straying to his steady thumping heartbeat or gentle touches.

"I'm going to tell the girls tonight." I suddenly announced out of nowhere, surprising even myself.

I felt him pause behind me and e shifted to look down at me, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as his hand stilled on my arm. I looked up at him, letting him gently fiddle with a strand of my hair.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you." He murmured, eyes flicking over my face.

"I don't like the idea of hiding it." I shrugged gently. "It doesn't feel right for us to constantly be sneaking around."

"You shouldn't let that influence your decision though." He replied.

"It's not." I shook my head, tangling my fingers in his and giving them a comforting squeeze. "Trust me, I want to do this."

"Do you want me to be there with you?" He asked, face relaxing a little .

"No." I shook my head. "I... you don't want to be subjected to the teasing."

"I'm sure I could handle it." He huffed out a laugh, lips twitching.

"I feel like I can do this myself." I smiled back. "I don't want you to constantly feel like you have to do stuff for me, I want to be able to at least try and do some things without having to bother anyone else."

"You're not bothering me." He immediately straightened, his eyebrows furrowing. "Em, of course I'm always going to be doing stuff with you, that's the whole point of being in... whatever we are. Please don't think like that."

"Sorry." I murmured, resting my head against his chest again. "I can't help it."

"It is your choice of course." He slowly went back to stroking. "But I just want you to know that I'm happy to do anything with you, okay?"

"Okay." I echoed.

-{+}-

I swear I spent most of the rest of my day trying to psych myself out from telling the girls; Loki's words about not pushing myself echoing in my head, but I knew I had to do this. There was a lot worse things I could have been doing, and I hated that I was so nervous about this.

"You're beginning to scare us Emily." Wanda broke through my thoughts and I looked up, stopping my hands from nervously picking at the threads of the blanket I had bundled myself in. "What's wrong? Why did you call us in here?"

"I wanted to tell you something." I repeated in a soft murmur, trying to gather up the thin amount of courage I had.

"Did someone hurt you?" Nat pressed when I fell into silence again. "Is it HYDRA?"

"No." I shook my head, pressing the palms of my hands into my eyes.

"Em, just breathe." Wanda tried to soothe me. "It's okay. Are you in any sort of danger?"

"No." I could feel a lump beginning to build up in my throat.

"Is anyone else in danger?" Nat asked and I shook my head again.

"Well, you don't have to tell us then." Wanda offered. "It's clearly stressing you out."

"I want to tell you guys though." I bit my lip before I blurted it out. "Loki and I kissed."

"Was it by your choice?" Wanda immediately asked.

"Yes, of course." I nodded, furrowing my eyebrows as I looked back over at her.

"Well you were so nervous a moment ago." She pointed out. "You were acting like he had forced himself on you again."

"He didn't force himself on me." I murmured, wrapping the blanket tighter around me. "I was just caught by surprise."

"As long as you were okay with it," She gave me a soft smile, "I'm happy for you both."

"I knew it." Nat finally managed to say, her face immediately breaking into a grin. "That's why you were so defensive the other day."

"We decided to keep it a secret until I was ready to tell you guys." I murmured, feeling my cheeks beginning to heat up.

"So are you guys dating then?" She pressed.

"We... we don't really know." I replied, fiddling with the blanket again. "We don't really want to call it anything just yet."

"We'll be your wingwomen through whatever it is then." Wanda was grinning now too. "If you ever need anything, or want to talk about anything, we'll be here."

"Thank you." I managed a weak smile as I peeked over the top of the blanket.