Loki Laufeyson - Saviour {2}

Chapter Seventy Four - It's More than Care

"Sit down with me." He said after a couple of seconds, tugging down on my arms and sitting us both on the carpet of the bedroom.

There was a flash of green and a tissue box appeared to the side. He pulled out one of the tissues and very carefully began to wipe away the tears that I didn't even realise were coating my cheeks. I sniffled and didn't dare look in his eyes, my heart hammering against my ribs as I prayed for him to say something.

"Firstly, I'm not leaving you." He murmured. "Not now. Not ever. Don't ever think I would. Please." His voice wobbled again. "I couldn't bear to leave you. I don't care if you can't give me anything physical. That is not the most important thing in a relationship, the emotion and devotion to each other is. I could never want more than what I have now. And if I did want something and you didn't feel comfortable with it, then I don't want it anymore. Because I will never, ever force something onto you that you're not comfortable with for the sake of my own desires. I wouldn't deserve you if I acted as selfishly as that. You give me more happiness and pleasure through your company alone than any sexual experiences . And I know you said that you think your company is a handful, but I don't see it that way. You are not a damaged good or anything, you are perfect just the way you are and I wouldn't change anything. You have grown so much in the time that I have known you and you are becoming more and more beautiful every day, and every day you amaze me in some different and wonderful way. What we have is perfect."

"What we have will be going nowhere." I sniffled. "What we have is just going around and around in circles that are slowly spiralling downward, and because of me. Your future is bleak with me, Loki. You will be settling for rare kisses and stiffened hugs. You will have no kids. No grandkids. You won't even have a proper girlfriend to turn into a wife. And I don't want that for you. I want you to be happy and I wish I could be that person for you by giving you that stuff, but I know I just couldn't."

"Then let me help you." He took up my hands. "You said so yourself, you could barely kiss me a couple of months ago. But look at you now. Remember us on the balcony a couple of nights ago? You blew me away with your bravery then. You are growing, Em, and you are slowly becoming braver and braver with each day. So let me help you, let me help you push through your fears and worries at a pace you are comfortable with. We have gotten to where we are now with eachother, so we can keep heading forward. With my help, you will grow into a beautifully confident woman. I know she's in you somewhere, we just have to coax her out. And maybe one day, we will have children. Ones full of mischief, but they get away with everything because of their mother's stunning looks that they inherited." He chuckled weakly.

I knew he was using humor to try and lighten me up. But his words alone were doing that. He was right, I had grown so much because of him. If it weren't for him, I would probably still be curled up in a cell, panicking at the smallest noise. And I knew he could help me get to a point where I could be an equal to him and give him everything of a normal relationship.

"But everything will only happen at your pace and on your terms." He continued. "I know you said that you don't want everyone to constantly be thinking of you, but I will always be thinking of you Em. This is to help you feel more comfortable in yourself and in us. And if you don't want to do it, then that's okay. We won't. But I'm here if you want to try."

"I'm just scared." I whispered. "You're the best thing to have happened to me. And I don't want to loose that because I stuffed it up. It could take me years to reach that point. I might never reach that point. And I don't want you to be unsatisfied and unfulfilled because of that."

"I know you don't believe me," He gently cupped my face and my eyes finally met his, "but I could never be unsatisfied with you Emily. You are a missing piece that took way too long to find in my life. So what if it takes years? At least I have you there with me. And if you never reach that point? That's fine, your happiness is more important than children or grandchildren or anything involving physical contact."