Loki Laufeyson - Saviour {2}

Chapter Seventy One - The Medicine I Needed

Thankfully, Odin wasn't down at breakfast, which I was extremely grateful for because the last thing I needed was another argument with him. Thor wasn't there either, which I was a little surprised about, but Loki reminded me that he needed to stay with the Avengers. It was definitely more peaceful just us and Frigga, who was happy to order some more comfortable clothes for me.

Once I had changed into a pair of pants and a t-shirt, Loki began to lead me around the markets outside the castle. While I had been there last time, it seemed they had expanded even more from there. The air was filled with the smell of spices and meat and flowers, people laughing or vendors yelling out sales. Loki happily brought me whatever I was interested in, which ranged from food to pretty clothes that thankfully weren't corseted dresses.

"Remember when I took you here for the first time?" Loki smiled as he led us to a slightly familiar jetty. "The edge of Asgard?"

"It's as beautiful as last time." I nodded, my eyes wide as I stared out across the endless water. "And I faintly remember you starting a water fight."

"Hey, that was you who started it." He shook his head, a grin working its way onto his face. "And how about we don't have a rematch until we've finished our food."

"Fine." I sighed dramatically and slowly sat down on the edge of the wooden surface, carefully balancing the box of food that he had brought for the both of us.

I set it down between us and carefully peeled off my shoes, letting my feet dangle in the cool water as I chewed. It was extremely peaceful and I couldn't help but breathe in the fresh air reflecting off the water as we ate.

The next couple of days were filled with lots of peaceful moments like that over the next couple of days. Loki showed me all the different parts of Asgard, from the mountains in the distance to the rolling hills. He had even offered to take me horseback riding, which I was more than eager to participate in.

"I have always wanted to go horse riding." I said as he walked us towards the stable, eagerly looking at the horses. "They look absolutely stunning!"

"The stable hands here definitely take pride in them." Loki chuckled.

"I can't actually ride a horse." I admitted as we got closer, slowly realising that this may not work out how I was imagining.

"That's okay." He smiled down at me. "I can teach you."

"Really?" I looked up at him eagerly. "Thank you!

And that is how I found myself in the middle of a grassy field a couple of hours later, lying flat on my back, squinting as the sun blinded me. I groaned as I sat up, rubbing tiny tears out of my eyes and dusting grass off my clothes. I looked up at Loki as he stepped off his horse, rushing over to me with concern.

"Who's idea was this?" I huffed, taking the hand he offered me to pull me up.

"I suggested it and you more than happily agreed to it." He chuckled, eyes still darting over my face. "Are you okay?"

"I think I will be." I murmured, reaching out to grab the reins of my horse, who was standing very alertly, having just spooked at something invisible moments ago.

I put my foot in the stirrup and swung myself up onto the horse's back again, gripping the reins tightly as she darted to the side.

"This horse is so jumpy." I sighed, trying to keep myself seated.

"Well, at least you have mostly good balance." He chuckled. "Come on, we should get back before you end up breaking something, which I am surprised you haven't yet, considering the number of times you have fallen off."

"You are making it sound like my fault." I glared at him, wincing as I rubbed my back. "You're the one who is meant to be teaching me how to ride."

"And I am trying, but it isn't my fault your horse keeps spooking." He raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly before he nudged his horse forward again, and when mine decided to quickly follow, I felt my nails desperately digging into the saddle once again.

On days when the weather wasn't as sunny, we spent most of our time either curled up in the library or using the painting room. I had never painted before, or at least not that I could remember, and Loki was very patient in teaching me. I was convinced he was using magic with his works because there was no way anyone would be able to craft something as amazing as he did. But then again, he wasn't just anyone.

My thoughts had been short-circuiting back to our relationship way too much for the last couple of days and every time that I thought about it for too long, I could feel my heart pick up with anxiety. I hadn't talked to Frigga any more about it, for the sake of my embarrassment and hers too, but her previous words about just talking to him were becoming like a mantra. But I know I couldn't talk to him because it would also be horribly embarrassing. Especially for the both of us.

I had kind of settled on the idea of calling it something, whatever it would be, because it gave me some idea of what to do and what was required between us. It was like a certainty, and I desperately needed that. It was almost like goal setting. With a label, people would know what we were and then I would know how to act around them with Loki under that label. And then, because it would most certainly involve physical touch, it was pushing me towards fixing and improving myself.

But the one thing keeping me stuck from bringing it up with Loki was the fact that maybe he didn't want to call us anything. And that maybe he wanted more than to just be called 'boyfriend', and what that was, I had absolutely no clue and I was not going to be consulting anyone on it any time soon, but I had to be prepared just in case.

And then there was the thought that maybe he didn't want to label anything because he wanted to limit the connection between us because he wanted distance from me. I knew that I was quite a handful, mainly because of everything that had gone on in my life already, and with Loki having to look after me for quite a long time, probably almost a year, I knew it would have to have been exhausting for him. And I honestly wouldn't blame him if he wanted that break, for however long it would be, even forever.

He never hinted at wanting to leave me, his face was always happy and bright around me, but I don't know if I was gaslighting myself or if he was just a very good actor. But the constant circling of thoughts kept me from saying anything, and probably for the best too. I just wanted to enjoy it now, if it was true or not.

-{+}-

LOKI POV

I never thought I would find so much joy in showing Emily around my homeland, well, adopted homeland or whatever the proper name was, especially because of all the bad memories that circulated around this place. But she managed to brighten up everything that these memories were replacing the bad ones.

But every night, it felt like I was betraying her trust when I met with Thor out in the hallways. I kept trying to tell myself that it was for her own well-being that I wasn't stressing her with what the Avengers were doing, but I also knew she deserved to know the truth, no matter how brutal.

They had been making progress against HYDRA though, which was a massive relief. Stark had somehow managed to locate several of their bunkers, one of which he said had to be the one Emily came from, but he was yet to go back through his iron suit's travel log to find it. I made a promise to myself that I was going to tell Emily once they had made a concrete move against them, I didn't want to get her hopes up.

All of the guilt that tried to eat me up in the hallway would quickly retreat to the back of my mind the moment that I was back in bed with Em. It didn't take her long to curl up close to me the moment that I wrapped my arms carefully around her and it was exactly like the medicine that I needed.