HAVING 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

18. Baby, ooh baby

MISSY
February 6th 2005

I don't know how myself and my four little siblings found ourselves at the front door of a mansion, but it was probably my lack of thinking that got us here.

I had taken Sean over from Shannon, and we now flocked behind Johnny and Gibs who opened the door for us.

"Jonathan?" A mature female voice yelled from further inside. 

"It's me," He yelled back.

"Do you have a guest?" Footsteps sounded, seeming closer each time.

"I have, erm," He cleared his throat. "Six guests."

Mrs. Kavanagh stepped into the hall then, and, holy fuck. She was so beautiful, I was about to fall to my knees.

She looked at Johnny and Gibsie quickly before turning to us. She looked at five Lynch kids unexpectedly pleading for somewhere to stay the night.

"What-" She stuttered in utter confusion. "Explain, right now." Mrs. Kavanagh turned back to Johnny.

"This is Melissa Lynch, and Shannon, and their little brothers," He quickly said. "They need a place to sleep tonight."

"Hey, Mammy K! I'm also staying for the sleepover." Gibsie grinned.

The serious look he gave his Mam probably spoke a thousand words, because her face filled with empathy.

"Alright," She sighed. "Melissa, Shannon." She nodded, turning back to us. She inched closer, furrowing her eyebrows when Ollie stood to hide behind me.

"Ols, say hi," I instructed.

I looked terrible. I was limping because of the impact of being thrown against the kitchen counters and the harsh forming bruises of the kicks on my ribs. Visibly, though, I had a forming bruise from the punch and a swelling face from the near burn. I felt pain nearly everywhere. It was horrifying.

With Sean resting on my hip and Ollie clinging tightly to my leg? I looked like their Mam.

I was in so much fucking pain. I was on the brink of collapsing.

My little brother peeked from the side and hesitantly greeted the generous, gorgeous woman. "Hi."

"Hi, pet, what's your name?" She kneeled down to his level. "And you?" She also turned to Tadhg who was bickering with Gibsie in a corner.

"I'm Ollie and he's Tadhg. I've gots two older brothers and a baby, too." Ollie immediately came out of his shell once he realised she was safe.

"It's 'got', you eejit." Tadhg scowled.

"Tiger," I warned.

"Ugh," He grunted. "Sorry, I guess."

I sighed at his alikeness to Joey.

"I'm Edel, and you're Johnny's friends, right?" She stood up. "Who've you got here?" She smiled sweetly at Sean.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Thank you so much, Mrs, Kavanagh. I promise we won't bother you again after tonight."

"That's fine, pet, you're not a bother," She reassured us. "Call me Edel, I insist."

I nodded gratefully.

"Where's Da?" Johnny asked, tracing circles with his thumb along my lower back.

"He's in bed already," She didn't elaborate further.

"This is Sean, he's verbally challenged," Shannon spoke up.

Edel raised an eyebrow while looking at the baby, and then took another good look at me.

She must have noticed the bruise on my face and the swelling on the other side, because she inhaled a sharp breath.

"Who wants some ice cream?" And just like that, Edel walked off with Gibsie, Tadhg and Ollie in tow.

"You can shower in my room," Johnny offered.

"I'm grand," Shannon told him, taking Sean from me.

"Go get some food, Shan." I kissed her cheek and gave her a gentle push towards the kitchen.

Johnny just stared at me once we were alone.

"Hi," He said finally. "God, I want to help you, baby."

"I know," My voice broke.

I couldn't break down now. Not when I hadn't since 2003.

"Just let me fix it for you." He inched closer again, holding my face like I was water in his hands, about to slip through his fingers.

"You can't," I placed a hand over one of his. "I'll lose you."

"You won't lose me," He started, his tone gentle. "I will accept every part you choose to show me. The beautiful parts," He traced the shape of my nose. "The ugly parts, the hard parts."

I sighed. I was fighting demons that looked like Da, but this boy was drowning it all out. My head was finally quiet.

"I'm here to stay for all of it." He leaned in for a quick peck. "All of you."

"Jaysus, I'm lucky to have you," I whispered, feeling his breathing against my face.

"I'm lucky to have you, too," He said without hesitation.

"I think you already know what's going on," I assumed.

"I do know," He seethed. "Your bastard Da is hurting all of you." His eyes filled with anger at the thought.

I didn't do anything to confirm nor deny. "You have to promise me you won't do anything unless I ask you." I linked my hand with his, pulling it from my face.

"I promise, Mel," He sincerely swore.

Fuck.

I just risked so much. My siblings' entire childhood was in my hands, and I carelessly handed the authority of deciding the next step in our lives to Johnny.

But I was going to love him. Very soon, I would love him.