HAVING 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

48. When the truth comes out...

MISSY
May 23rd 2005

After John read the letter, he first of all told me it was very organised. That was my goal while writing it, so I told him thanks.

Then, I saw a tear fall from his eye. I didn't say anything about it.

He told me that he was sorry I couldn't get the justice I deserved. I agreed, saying that he got the easy way out.

Then he spat out all these things about psychiatrists and therapists. I stopped listening.

"Does Johnny know about this?" He asked me after I stopped nodding and humming 'mhm' mindlessly.

"Yeah," I said. "Shannon and Joey as well."

"And is this Taggart Brady man alive?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," I swallowed, it all becoming very real. "He's my ex-boyfriend."

"Could you elaborate more, or should we continue tomorrow?" He said it factually, as if he was already defending me in court.

Logical Missy creeped up on me. I took a deep breath.

"On Christmas of 2002, Taggart Brady raped me while I was under the influence of alcohol and drugs," I started. "In 2003, I started a relationship with him, and soon I realised I was pregnant because of that night. After I told him, he threw me down the stairs. He'd, uhm, hurt me often, until I left him a year later in January of 2004."

John didn't even widen his eyes or flinch. I thought the rest of the letter might have been more impactful than this story.

"Oh, and he was nineteen years old at the time of the rape while I was fourteen," I mentioned, forgetting if I'd ever written that down in the letter.

Following all of my confessions, he asked if I wanted to press charges against Tag.

I said yes.

I couldn't fully get my peace, ever. But I could take this part of me back. I could reclaim my virginity. My innocence.

That was the 19th of May. Today was the 23rd. Taggart had been arrested after Gibsie and Hughie came in as eye witnesses of him dragging me into the bedroom, me yelling 'no' through the door, and the abuse he shamelessly objected me to in public spaces.

Taylor also came in and told them about the several times she'd seen him hurt me.

I was surprised that Taylor did it, because the last time we spoke, she threatened that he knew where I was. Either way, I was glad that she helped build my case.

I had lots of pictures of Taggart and I on an old digital camera. I once took it to Johnny's before the fire, so it didn't get burnt to ashes along with all the other evidence I gathered over the years.

The photos were of a minor, under the age of consent, and an adult engaging in fondling and kissing.

I hadn't taken those pictures, of course, and I'd forgotten about their existence, but it was still humiliating that anyone other than I would have access to them now.

I had to tell about five different cops the entire story over and over again, and now they were finally leaving me alone.

Everyone knew my secrets now. I tried not to care, but it was so obvious that Edel had even more empathy for me.

It was painfully obvious that Tadhg was being so gentle and that he understood me now; he knew why I floated away sometimes.

Ollie had definitely been crying, even though he wasn't able to understand what it meant. Sean hadn't a clue why everyone was sad again.