HAVING 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

44. Free now

JOHNNY
May 15th 2005

Some of the lads and I were helping to build a treehouse for the little Lynch brothers.

Tadhg kept calling Gibs fat, while my best friend fought back, saying he was only big-boned.

Missy finally started coming out of the house. She mostly sat in the grass of the backyard, reading or watching her siblings finally live a normal life.

I could tell she wasn't talking to Shannon a lot, and I wondered why.

Maybe because her sister understood the heaviness of the situation, and it made it feel more real to her.

Right now, we laid in the green grass, watching Ollie and Tadhg play with the dogs.

"I'm so happy they get to be children now," She told me.

I smiled. "And you."

"Yeah," She sighed.

"I'm serious. It's time that you finally get to live," I convinced her. "We should go to concerts, beaches, and I'll take you out to restaurants."

"Yeah, sure," She laughed. "Y'know, all my old clothes burnt down in a fire and now I've suddenly upgraded to designer clothes. Everything's turning around so quickly."

"You can go shopping with Edel wherever you want sometime, you can wear whatever you want." I ran my hand over her hair. "We can go out, I'll wear the shoes you picked out for me a few months back."

"I don't want to be a money-sucking black hole, so..."

"My parents are adopting you, Mel. I think they don't mind," I convinced her.

She rolled closer to me and wrapped her arms around my torso. "Hey, we could always adopt when we're older."

I nodded. "Like my parents are doing now?"

"Yeah," She smiled to herself.

I closed my arms around her to let her know I wanted the same. "I would wanna show you how different it could have been for you."

She didn't say anything but I could tell she appreciated it.

"On the day of the fire, I had a terrible fight with my Mam," She confessed. "The last thing I told her was that I hate her."

"Shite," I said. "You didn't know, Mel. It's not your fault, okay?"

"The worst part is that I meant it, and I wished she would die while I walked away," She admitted.

"And then she—"

"She burnt down." Melissa started ranting. "She was already dead, Johnny. There wasn't a soul in that body. Her eyes were empty—she never tried to protect her kids."

"It's not your fault," I tried to calm her down.

"I know that," She shrugged. "We fought about you. She was trying to get me to break up with you..."

I didn't know what to say. I decided I would just let her talk.

"I told her I loved you. I told her I hated her," She finally finished. "And I don't feel guilty about it."

"It's reasonable to not feel guilty," I tried to help her process it. "She neglected you all your life. It's okay if you did it to her for one day."

My girlfriend shook her head. "I want to feel guilty. I wanna feel that it's wrong."

•

We'd decided to actually go and have dinner at a restaurant. Melissa lent a dress from Claire since my Mam hadn't the time, but either way, my girl looked stunning in it.

"You look gorgeous, babe," I mentioned while driving towards the place I made a reservation at.

"Thanks," She said. "It's my first time ever wearing a dress. I mean, I wore the uniform's skirt every day, but never a dress."

That surprised me. "Actually? Well, it's about time. I'm barely able to keep my eyes on the road."

"Drive safely, please," She laughed.

The most beautiful sound. Her happiness was my favourite song.

NOTE

Early chapter because summer break started for me and you guys deserve a treat before the chaos Xx

Love, Rhiannon