HAVING 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

16. Snap

MISSY
February 6th 2005

I hung up the phone and did my best to pull myself together, all while walking.

Gibsie and Johnny followed closely, looking confused as hell.

"I need to get home as quickly as I can. Bye," I told them.

"We'll walk you there," Gibsie stated.

I stopped suddenly, surprising them. "No."

"No?" Johnny questioned.

"No." I started walking again, trying so hard not to crumble.

The thread was about to snap. It was really about to.

I was stumbling over the edge.

Just hold on, Melissa.

Wait until Tadhg is officially okay.

Wait until you've gotten Ollie and Sean in bed.

Wait until you know he didn't lay a finger on Shannon.

Johnny and Gibsie fell behind, but seconds later, the brown-haired boy was back next to me without his sidekick.

"You need to leave," I muttered a few minutes later. We were approaching Elk's Terrace.

"I won't as long as you don't tell me what the fuck's going on," He persisted.

"Fine, stay," I gave in. "But wait on the sidewalk."

"But I wanted to meet your parents-" He started with a smirk on his face.

I gave him a warning look and he stopped smiling, dropping the joke.

"Fine with me," Johnny decided on saying.

When we finally came to a stop in front of my house, I turned to him.

"Nice house," He complimented.

"It's a council house. Did you give Gibsie your car?" I dismissed his praise.

"I told him to drive it to my house and I would meet him there," He explained, confused expression painted on his face.

He was so gorgeous. I could barely say the next sentence without stuttering.

"I'm very sorry, but can you tell him to get it over here?" I shamefully asked.

"Yes, of course," He nodded eagerly and grabbed his phone from the pocket it in his jacket.

I turned and walked through our fence, which's gate was now completely off its hinges, tossed on the grass yard.

I crashed through the door and ran upstairs into Joey's bedroom, where I knew my siblings would be. It's where we kept the bandages.

"Tadhg?" I asked, kneeling in front of him. He was sat on the edge of Joey's bed, cradling a hand against the side of his face.

I pulled it off, firmly but gently, and revealed a shiner, finished off by a cut on his cheekbone from one of Da's rings.

I've had this exact bruise many times.

Seeing it on my little brother, whom I was supposed to protect at all times, no matter what? That hurt in a different way.

It didn't just hurt, but it flipped something inside me.

This would be passed down, child by child.

Next, he'd start handing these shiners to Ollie. To baby Seany. I couldn't let that happen.