HAVING 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

29. Gut feeling

NOTE

Hiii guys... I highly recommend listening to Forever Winter by Taylor Swift during this chapter since it's heavily inspired by that song xx ALSO I'M SO SORRY FOR FORGETTING TO UPDATE ON MONDAY!!! Gibsie's point of view to make up for it :)

JOHNNY
31st March 2005

Something was wrong.

I still felt the guilt from lying, deep in my bones. I hated liars. I'd been one for months. I'd lost myself trying to make it. It had resulted in me possibly flunking my chance on being selected for the national team.

But I also felt an immense amount of anxiety. It was immensely against my morals to not tell my Mam or Da—especially him, since he was a barrister—when someone was in danger. Missy, Shannon and all their siblings were being abused, and I didn't involve police.

Mostly because Missy had almost left me when I tried to convince her to report her father. I loved her; I preferred being close enough to help her when in danger, more than being far and not being able to do anything about her Da hurting her.

Once, she opened up and told me that they'd tried to get help before. Police had been called several times, but her Dad always brushed it off and they simply believed him.

I couldn't believe it. The system had failed them over and over. Mel was always so negative about Gardaí and barristers, and now I understood why.

She didn't believe much she heard, because she'd heard it all before and it had all been a lie. The Lynch siblings must've spent endless nights wishing it would all go away and their Da would finally be gone for good.

I called her cell a thousand times to check up on her. It was late night, 11pm. I would be pacing if my leg worked.

I knew from pretty early on that, in Melissa's world, home wasn't a safe place. I didn't know it was that extreme; physically extreme until she spent the first night at my house with Shannon and her little brothers.

Now, I couldn't imagine a life without her. I would completely crumble and fall to pieces on the floor if she wasn't around anymore. She was so young, they all were, and they were going through something so horrifying.

She seemed fine most of the time. It would make me forget about what was really behind that smile. I was glad to be an escape from home for her, but it always haunted me. The scars I'd seen; they had a reason. I couldn't even imagine what would bring anyone to that point.

I pulled at every thread, trying to solve the puzzles in her head. I lived my life scared to death that she'd just be gone one day. Especially right now, when she wasn't answering her phone, and Shannon wasn't either. Neither was Gibs.

"Please, be okay," I murmured to myself, stuck in the damn cursed hospital bed, too far away from my girlfriend to be able to sleep.

I loved her. Even at her darkest, I would continue to love her.

I stared at a picture of my girlfriend that Gibsie made and I ended up printing. I'd asked my Ma to bring it from my room.

She was in a soft yellow long sleeved shirt, jeans and her hair was down, behind her ears. She wasn't wearing any makeup and she'd just woke up. I'd also just woken up, and I was making us breakfast. My back was to the camera, but she was smiling brightly.

It was a few nights after the first sleepover. We'd planned something, just the two of us, but Gibsie had crashed the fun. I smiled, thinking back to it.

"Please."

•

GIBSIE
31st March 2005

A phone call from Melissa seemed innocent. I'd asked her to call me when she was home, after all. I didn't expect to hear little Shannon fully sobbing when I picked up.

"Gibsie!" She cried. "It's Shannon."

"Shannon? Everything okay?" I got up from my bed in an instant.

"Missy said to call you, I-" She heaved. "We need help!"

"What's going on?" I asked, putting my cell on speakerphone and sliding into sweatpants and a jumper.

"Please, just come!" Shannon begged.

I picked the phone back up and headed downstairs. I went to the living room. "Mam, I have to go," I informed.

She was tired, half-asleep in front of the telly, so she just nodded.

"Shannon, are you still there?" I asked now, having not heard her for a minute too long.

"I'm Ollie," a small voice said.

"Ollie, are you hurt? Is anyone hurt?" I asked urgently.

"He's hurting Shannon—," He whined. My heart sank. I needed to get there as soon as possible.

I collected my keys and immediately left the house, getting to the car in record speed.

"Do you know where your sisters are hurt?" I asked as I closed the door, simultaneously starting the engine.

"I don't know! Please, help them," He begged. It hurt my heart to hear his voice breaking.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes, Ollie," I promised.

It usually took 20-something minutes to get to that part of town, but I was willing to speed for this cause.

I remembered high Johnny's words, begging Melissa. It was just us three in there, and he had suddenly snapped.

"You need to report your Dad, Missy," He slurred loudly.

I raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked.

It creeped up in the back of my mind, the thought that he meant assault or abuse.

"He's not in the right mind, Gibs," Melissa tried to convince me. I saw through it though. I'd been her; I knew the tricks.

"Her father is hurting her."

That was when I realised. All the flinching, all the large clothes, the scars I'd seen on her stomach when her shirt lifted up while taking her jumper off.

It all made sense.

And now I had to help her.