HAVING 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

30. The truth

MISSY
April 2nd 2005

The first sense that hit me was smell; sanitiser and general cleanliness.

Then, I tasted the blood in my mouth. I urgently wanted to brush my teeth.

After that, I felt everything. I tried to move. I remembered something breaking; I remembered it hurting. I didn't want to be paralysed. I moved my fingers and wiggled my toes. I was okay.

I heard a voice. "Melissa?" He asked. Who was he?

I opened my eyes. Sight. I breathed, and really felt it. And then everything hurt again. I whimpered.

"Help," My voice was extremely hoarse.

"Mel, it's me," The man said.

I tried to raise my head, craning my neck up and sideways.

I immediately wished I hadn't woken up at all.

"Darren?" I asked. My throat was dry. "Water."

He handed me a cup and I drank it. It hurt to do so.

It also hurt to lay eyes on him.

"Get out," I demanded.

He sighed. "Since Da is gone now, Mam has decided to be better. She's really going to take care of you all now, and I'll help her for a while."

I would have laughed in his face, but it would probably be painful, so I decided against it.

"Bullshit," I claimed.

"It's true, Mel. That's why we need you to tell the social workers that it was the first time this happened."

Even when Da was gone—he never really was—we still weren't free. I didn't answer. I just pulled myself upright, despite the pain, and pressed the 'call' button to call a nurse.

Seconds later, a woman came. She fussed over how I was awake and went to get other nurses. My oldest brother finally left because of the fuss.

Only ten minutes passed and I was now receiving pain medication through a drip. They eyed my right wrist suspiciously when they saw the healed scars.

I hadn't seen exactly what was wrong with me, since there was a blanket draped over me, but I had an idea.

"So, Theodora," The doctor started after the two nurses had left.

"Melissa, if you will," I smiled politely. It was all fake.

"Of course. Melissa, I'm gonna run you through your injuries," He explained.

"Alright," I sighed. I didn't really want to know.

"I'll start off with the worst. Your pubic bone, the pubis, was fractured. We performed surgery on it. You'll have to use crutches or a walker for some time." He wasn't able to hold eye contact with me. "Bruised ribs, a concussion. There's some general wounds, the biggest one being on the back of your head."

I nodded, taking it all in.

My pubic bone.

Oh, god.

I started crying when it hit me.

Everyone was going to know.

•

Darren was back in my room, bothering the shit out of me. I agreed to lying. I was just paranoid for their reaction when they found out the truth, so I went along with what they asked.

I think Shannon knew, deep down, what Da did to me. Mam obviously knew. That was it, though.

Tadhg came to visit and he told me that Da beat Joey to a pulp as well, and Gibsie had intervened at the perfect moment, Aoife following only a minute later.