War Upon the Sunrise | HS Side Story

Chapter Thirty-Six

What's more heartbreaking is knowing you are already tired of crying but tears keep on coming out. Your heart is hurting but you do not seem to have control over it — it keeps bleeding and craving for his love.

I was never a good person to begin with. I was built different—I was a villainess.

All along I believed that I am the worst person someone could ever imagine—blaming someone innocent for something she hasn't done.

All along I thought I will never change. I thought it was carved within me. I thought it was natural and that it is unchangeable. But I thought wrong.

Lucas came out of nowhere like a butterfly in the garden—visiting and arriving without a notice. He painted blue on my gray, green on my black, and yellow on my white.

He changed me.

I didn't realized I was already getting dependent on his presence. I lost control of myself and fell in love with him.

Now, I am left alone trying to figure out how to numb all the pain.

Stuck in time, I unknowingly stared at the table in front of me here in my living room as I sat on the sofa. While my Mom is sitting on the single sofa beside the long sofa.

Another morning came, and she's here again. I don't know for sure as to whatever she wants from me again. I already lost Lucas. What could she ask more?

She's wearing her white coat and a red dress within paired with her white stilettos that screams aura.

“Have you eaten breakfast already?” she asked me.

I don't know the purpose of her asking me whether I have eaten or not?

Maybe because she's your mother, Lucy?

A part of my brain answered.

“I'm full,” I answered in a raspy voice.

I had been crying the whole night. I had been lost and had wet all my pillows, asking what's wrong with me, why am I unappreciated in so many ways?

My adoptive parents never once saw the importance of me being the top two in the university I studied before. Was it because I'm just number two? Was it so wrong to be number two?

Number two. Almost there but never there.

“You should at least eat, Lucy. I will cook breakfast for you. Then after that, tell me wherever you wanna go. I will let you have a vacation—”

“For what, Mom?” I asked.

I slowly lifted my eyes to her. She just stood up and was about to go to the kitchen.

She looked at me with eyes I can't explain.

“What do you mean 'for what', Lucy?” she asked back.

I chuckled dryly and sadly. “Why would you wanna send me to a vacation all of a sudden? You want me to move on from him? You want to show me that this is just a phase? That I am just heart broken and I just need a damn vacation? Is that what you are trying to say, Mom? To just forget Lucas?” My voice broke.

She sighed and looked away. It wasn't a kind of sigh that seems tired of everything, it sounds like a sigh that is in pain.

And I don't know why?

“Do you really love him that much, Lucy?” she asked.

I laughed dryly. Slowly, tears streamed down my cheeks. “What do you think, Mom? Do you think I would risk everything for him if I don't? Do you think I would go against you if I don't?”