War Upon the Sunrise | HS Side Story

Chapter Thirty-Four

Pursed lips, hands intertwined on top of my lap, looking at my feet, sitting on my condo's sofa. Lucas is sitting across me on the wooden stool, crossed arms, looking at me like I did something wrong.

No one wants to talk. Both of us are just sitting in the living room, listening to both our breaths. Unsure of what to say.

And so, annoyed with the deafening silence, I breathed out and looked at him.

“Why are you looking at me that way? I should be the one mad at you, right now. You didn't told me that you're suddenly going to have a short vacation without a short notice! I was worried about you,” I said, crossed my arms and glared at him.

He raised his brows at me. He is really looking at me with eyes that says, 'You're lagot sa akin'.

“Bakit ka ba kasi nakikipag-date bigla? Dapat nasa trabaho ka, diba? Working hours iyon, ah. Bawal dapat lumabas.” Instead, he said.

I rolled my eyes. I have already explained to him that I went out because my Mom told me to. But he kept on asking me that question, trying to ignore my questions towards him.

“I already told you, diba? My Mom told me to. I didn't have any choice and just do what she wants,” I answered.

And why are we fighting about it anyway? It's not like we're in a relationship.

He raised his brows even more. “Ibig sabihin, magpapadikta ka sa Nanay mo? Tamang gawain ba iyan? Oo, Nanay mo siya, pero hindi niya hawak ang buhay mo, Lucy.”

I sighed.

I know, Lucas. This is my life and I should be the one controlling it. This is my story and I should not let other people hold the pen.

But you know what is hard of being told what to do? It is not having a choice. Not because I do not have a choice but because I chose the other choice.

And what is even more draining is the fact that the one forcing you to things you do not like, is your Mom. You won't get her, but at the end of the day, you do what she wants.

“Just answer my question, Lucas. I was serious when I said I was a worried about you. So, just answer me to ease my mind,” I said, trying to ignore what he said.

He sighed. “Sa pagkakaalala ko, kaya umalis si Zevi noon ay dahil napagod siya sa pandidikta niyang Nanay mo, Lucy. Tapos ngayon, hinahayaan mo siyang diktahan ka sa mga bagay-bagay? Sa pagkakaalam ko, palaban ka, eh. Bakit hindi mo iyan ginagamit ngayon? Bakit hinahayaan mo lang siya? Bakit hindi mo ipaglaban ang gusto mo?”

My heart tugged painfully. Everything he is saying hits hard.

Yes, I have a choice to disobey her, but I chose not to. It's not because I would let them do whatever they want for me, but because that is how I was raised.

Remember, how people raised you will reflect on your behavior, choices, and beliefs.

No matter how bad you want to change that behavior, you will still end up being that person they raised.

It's just like how your anger issues kept on appearing even though you knew it is wrong. What do you think is the reason behind your anger issue? It is because of how you were used to the shouting inside the place you grew up on.

“Lucas, you wouldn't understand. Or even if you do, I just can't do anything about it. It is my first time meeting my real parents and I can see how happy she is with her choices, and I don't want to spoil it,” I answered. “I have a choice, Lucas, but I chose not to choose it.”

He stared at me. Then he sighed and uncrossed his arms and looked away. “Naiintindihan ko, Lucy. Dahil alam ko ang pakiramdam mo ngayon.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, wondering what he meant.