LOVE IN THE WARMTH

SIMULA

I am listening to my boyfriend Gregory Theodore Esquela, telling me all the exciting things he wanted to do pag naka graduate na kami, his been my boyfriend since first year college, we met at a bar and in an instant we clicked.

"Are you listening to me honey?" He asked me when he noticed that I am not paying attention, I smiled at him and nodded

"Good" he smiled and snaked his hands on my waist, he kissed my lips, his tongue grazed my lips as he went further down and started kissing my neck

"Now we are alone" he whispered and pushed me in the bed "we can do something I want to do in a very long time" he huskily said and he kissed me rough, and for sure my lips will sore again after this, he cupped my breast and he squeezed it hard

"Greg saglit masakit" reklamo ko, he stopped kissing me and took a deep breath at bumangon sa pagkapatong sa akin

"Nakakawala ka ng libog Elia! Tangina naman tatlong taon na tayo tapos wala pa tayong sex? What are you waiting? Marriage? Sabi ko naman sayo papakasalan kita, and you even give your assurance na pagkatapos ng school year na ito ikakasal tayo!" padabog niya binato ang isang baso sa gilid na kinagulat ko

Yes, we are together for three years now, we are both madly in lust that I took it as love, we do what couples do, except for sex, takot ako mabuntis pa and I don't know why I can't still give myself to him.

He was cool about it on the first years of our relationship, and like in any other relationships we kiss, we fondle and we touch one another and like what I mentioned we never have sex, pero ngayon parang feeling ko nagiiba na siya, nagiging bugnutin siya everytime tinatanggihan ko siya, and this is the first time na meron siya binasag!

I watched him stood up and picked up his key and stormed away! Hindi ko alam kung saan siya pupunta, pero hindi ko na hinabol, at nilinisan ko na lang ang mga bubog na nagkalat. Ano pa ang gusto niya? Lahat sinusunod ko simula na naging kami, from clothes I wear and from the school I attend

You see hindi naman talaga ako nag aaral sa school niya dati, pero ngayon nag third year na ako he insisted na mag transfer ako sa school din niya, he even talked to my mother about it! Lumabas ako sa kwarto niya at nasalubong ko ang mayordoma nila na si manang Jocelyn

"Oh anong nangyari kay Greg?" Tanong niya sa akin

"Nabangga lang niya ang baso manang, nasaan siya?"

Nagbuntong hininga siya "nag drive papunta daw sa barkada niya, badtrip" sabi nuya, at nilagpasan na ako para pumunta sa kusina, nagbuntong hininga ako at tinapon ko na lang ang mga bubog.

Most of the time wala ang parents ko kasi si papa pilot and mama is a flight stewardess, kaya ako lang magisa sa bahay namin, for tonight pinagpaalam ako ni Greg na mag overnight ngayon sa bahay nila, he is sweet with my parents kaya nga mabilis niya nakuha ang loob ng mga ito

Eight o' clock na ng gabi at wala padin si Greg, kaya tinawagan ko siya pero hindi niya sinasagot ang tawag ko. I sighed as I think about our relationship, we were not like this before, people envy the relationship we have, they say we are a perfect couple

But as years gone by unti unti siya nagbabago, ang bilis niya mainis at magalit, sometimes I don't know him anymore, mas lalo pa siya naghigpit sa akin, lalo na ng last summer kaya marami din ako namiss na activities with my friends, he wanted kaming dalawa lang ang laging magkasama, yes he wanted us to be both happy on our little own bubble.

Sa kakaisip ko nakatulog ako at nagising ako ng meron humahalik sa leeg ko, pagdilat ko nakita ko si Greg ito, amoy alak at mukhang lasing na lasing

"Hon" sabi ko while I looked at him, hinaplos niya ang aking mukhang at ngumiti

"I am sorry about earlier, I should have not get mad at you, I am sorry Elia" and he started to kiss me, I kissed him back, hoping to find the man that I fell in love with before, pero parang iba na. His kiss is so foreign to me and his touch seems different but I deepened the kiss to still look for it

His hands trail down at the hem of my shirt and tinaas niya ito at tinanggal, he roughly kneaded my breast again at pilit ko siya tinutulak

"Hon please stop" I silently whimper, pero hindi niya ako pinakinggan bagkus lalo niya diniin ang paghawak sa akin mga boobs

"Greg!" Sigaw ko at tinulak ko ng malakas at dahil doon natumba siya sa sahig at tumama ang kanyang tuhod

"Son of a -" at bigla siya tumayo at tumayo na din ako mula sa kama

"I am sorry hon, I did not mean to" nanginginig ko sinabi, but before I registered what happened he already pulled my hair and slapped me that my lips bleed

"Hon I am sorry please" but he did not listened he slapped me again ang pinned both of my wrist at the wall

"Greg nasasaktan ako" sabi ko habang pinaghahalikan ako, pero hindi ako pinakinggan bagkus tuloy niya lang ako pinaghahalikan kinagat niya ang aking leeg at humiyaw ako sa sakit, at alam ko mag mamarka ito, his other hand is still groping my breast

"Greg please huwag ganito" pagmamakaawa ko, iniangat niya ang kanyang ulo at nagulat siya sa itsura ko na dumudugo ang labi at umiiyak at parang natauhan siya

"I am sorry honey, I did not mean to please darling stop..hush" at niyakap niya na ako, at hindi ko na mapigilan umiyak

Yes I am a battered girlfriend for months now, I don't know why I am still standing by his side, like what I said with our friends we seemed perfect, but they don't know that I am hiding all the pain and bruises from him.

Call me martyr or what, but it is really hard to open up something like this, wala akong mga kapatid, malayo ang mga magulang ko sa akin, since eighteen years old ako si Greg na lang ang kasama ko, pero hindi ko naman sukat akalain na ganito ang mangyayari sa akin.

Greg is an A-student, always top of his game, so kung malaman ng iba ang ginagawa niya sa akin malaking kasiraan sa imahe niya ito and despite how painful the things he is doing with me I don't like to ruin his future, and I thought no one can notice my inner turmoils but I was wrong because there is this one person who sees right through

It is Mr. Houston Giovanni Calvin, my professor alam ko bukas kahit itago ko ang pasa ko sa palupulsuhan ko at mukha ko alam ko makikita at makikita niya ito, and to be honest he is the one who is making me so confuse right now...