This book is for the reviews of the stories submitted to via the now-obsolete Pink Alpaca Reads. Beware: honest opinions ahead.
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The Cost of Conjuring: A Bargain Beyond Blood by Easterhead
What I loved: You can go back to the snippets I did during the judging rounds. They should give you a clear picture of what I loved in this work to make them pass through the final judging stages.
What didn't work: Towards the middle is where some things started to fall off. I loved the natural progression of the conflict, and how the things the MC does seem to only make things worse, but the ending feels a bit rushed and closed off because of the wordcount limit and not because the story is over.
SPOILER ALERT. The ending, while a good resolution, seems a bit forced and kind of a deus ex machina. It might be the point of your MC's emotional journey, but the execution feels a bit flat. Some developments in character (ie. Cera's sudden shift to not being afraid anymore and Li's somewhat dramatic turn-over to the caring boyfriend archetype) can be thoroughly improved so that the shift can feel more natural and flow more easily.
Lastly, I feel as though Li's entire arc and that solid misunderstanding arc in the middle could have been compressed into fewer chapters so that the ending arc can be given more space. Because I think that the middle parts focused so much on that arc instead of looking for a way to solve the main conflict such that when it is time to address it, there is no more space left.
What to improve: Def those points above. They might have stemmed because of the wordcount limit, but past the ONC, there is certainly time to flesh things out a bit more to fully understand and execute the plot and the character dynamics. Focus on what you want the story to be as a whole—is it a self-acceptance story, a fantasy mystery story about disappearing people, or something else? Knowing the heart of your story from the start helps so much with the execution later down the road. Otherwise, this is a very solid story from start to finish, and I loved it so much to finish it in one sitting! uwu.
Final verdict: This is a clear 9/10 on my book. With a little polishing, it can certainly shine. Keep writing, and I'm looking forward to more books from you! No pressure, though. xD
IMPORTANT: This review is part of the prizes for the Pink Alpaca Awards 2024. For other announcements regarding this program, see Announcements - [2023].
