This book is for the reviews of the stories submitted to via the now-obsolete Pink Alpaca Reads. Beware: honest opinions ahead.
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Graphics made by @Exequinne.
Disclaimer: This program is separate from any communities or Wattpad Ambassador Initiat...
What I loved: I think this story has an overall good premise and a good start, too!
What didn't work: For me, I think the way of narration is what tripped me up. Sure, it's a short story and creative liberties exist in terms of narrating a story but the way this one was done didn't just...work for me. I think I got bored with how things about the main character's life and family are just info-dumped with little to no flow between ideas enough to successfully tell a story. I know that this style of narration could fit with somebody but...it's not just for me. ;-;
What needs improvement: Another minor thing that tripped me up was how the paragraphs are presented. It's...a little bit hazy and provides no spaces where the eye could take breaks when reading your work. It's just me being picky but yeah. xD Other than that, grammar and other technicalities are quite...alright.
Final verdict: DNF at 33%. I'll leave the rating as that since I didn't exactly finish the story. You've got a good premise there so we only need to work on the technical side of things. Keep learning. Keep writing. Keep shining. uwu.
