This book is for the reviews of the stories submitted to via the now-obsolete Pink Alpaca Reads. Beware: honest opinions ahead.
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After major coastal cities sink to the bottom of the ocean at the end of the twenty-first century, the richest inhabitants of Earth escape the planet to build new colonies in a distant solar system. Thirty six light years away from the Milky Way galaxy, centuries have passed and humanity is well established. Among the most notable establishments is a prestigious university for the study of alien biology.
Moira, a girl with pervasive developmental disorder, but a talented student nonetheless, navigates the challenge of interplanetary university life as she researches a rare and endangered species. When a deeper threat emerges that challenges the existence of these creatures, she must team up with her classmates and find a solution to a problem much bigger than they could ever hope to be.
Review Proper
A. Blurb
I think the blurb is complete and done well. It introduces us to the world, the main character, and the main conflict so I think there's not much to say about it.
B. Setting
First off, I LOVE the worldbuilding on this story. Everything is thought-off and executed really well. Like, it didn't take me so much time to figure out that they are on a different planet and that they are doing stuff post-Earth. The planets, the animals, the worldbuilding elements is just done so well without overwhelming the reader. Good, good job!
Scene painting, too, is done well. I love how the characters are interacting with their environment and that even the small-scale settings make me feel like I am in the same room as the characters. It's personal, introspective, and overall amazing.
What I love most about this story is that it has set us off in a wonderful world that we can get lost in and emerge with not just wonder but learnings, as well.
C. Plot
The plot, however, did not convince me that much. Sure, I understand that this is an environmental awareness story and that there's not going to be people punching each other at every turn, but there are some things in the overall scheme of things that did not sit well with me.
The starting scenes take us into Moira's journey in securing her college scholarship and I admit that even I was rooting for her to get into internships and meet new friends. But by the middle scenes, it kinda peters out. Of course, that's all remedied by the ending sequence which is just brilliant.
What didn't sit well with me is that some parts of the plot's focus can be removed and the story would still make sense. I am not saying that they are unnecessary but they do take the readers' focus out of the main issue at hand. Some parts of the middle and the ending sequences are not as coherent as the starting scenes and some elements were kind of dropped out of the blue.
The introduction of the conflict didn't come around until about 70% of the book. To me, that's too long of a wait. Most readers would rather find out about the conflict around the second chapter-ish. I am not saying that it's a bad thing—we all have our different ways to plot stuff—but it certainly didn't hold well for me who have the attention span of a fruit fly. ;-;
D. Pacing
Like I said in the last subsection, the pacing is something that didn't do well for me. The starting scenes are spent introducing us to Moira's world, her friends, and family and there's not a hint of the conflict anywhere else except maybe mentions of the things that would be important later on to get the reader familiar with the terms.
Either way, when the plot does pick up around the near end, I didn't have any trouble following. The ending scenes were of the right pace compared to the starting scenes. At least, for me.
But, don't worry about what I'm saying! I am sure that your story is not meant to be action-y and I totally understand that!
E. Characters
The characters of this story are too many to remember. Some can also be edited out and the story would still make sense. I feel like there are many main characters and I love how they are all given the spotlight in the story. So, for that, good job.
I love the diverse characters in this story and the way they are portrayed. Lots of research and effort were made just to make them look authentic and not mere cutouts placed there for repping purposes. Another good job there!
The ships are absolutely adorable! (but also a bit rushed, if I can say honestly. don't come at me ;-;) I love, love, love Nardho and Moira's relationship!
Finally, about the characterization when it comes to dialogues. Some of them were things that people won't normally say in real life, especially in the initial chapters (the chapters by the end have more percentage of realistic dialogue! That's growth!!). I could show you examples through DM if you want to learn more about what I'm talking about. But, essentially, that's what made it hard to get into your story the first time. So, definitely look into that. ;-;
Other than that, I'd say characterization is done well and superb. Each character is whole and with a lot more dynamics to them which is already a job well done!
F. Technicalities
Grammar mistakes. Typos. Misused words. Missing words. Nothing too grave and all are forgiveable. A bit of polishing and this story would shine the brightest. I've got nothing else to say since this is one of the most polished stories I've ever seen.
Over-all Impression
This story is an 8/10 on my scale. Really, really good with all the practical lessons about life and the superb worldbuilding. Interesting arguments about capitalism and environmental care. I have walked out of this story with more learnings than I ever could with other stories. For that, congratulations! You did a good job of telling your story and it's only going to get better from here! GOod job! Keep writing. Keep shining!
