This book is for the reviews of the stories submitted to via the now-obsolete Pink Alpaca Reads. Beware: honest opinions ahead.
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What I loved: First of all, this story is published so everything I expected from a story is there. I looooove the whole thing and that made the journey with this book so, so much more enjoyable. I forgot I was even reading to review or spot errors and just had a good time. And for that, a very, very good job. uwu.
The character work in this story is just amazing. They have their own agency, their dreams, motivations, and even backgrounds that tie-off with the present in such a realistic way. The dynamics is really good as well, as it shows complete characterization from the get-go. Every character interaction makes sense and I love how the story somehow found the balance between being character-driven and plot-driven. The character arcs are well-planned and well-executed. For that, good job again.
The plot, while having some aspects that will be discussed on the latter sections, is a good adventure sure to lull readers and take them along for the ride. The pacing is just the right amount and it seems like the authors have a good grasp of story beats and know how to keep a tight leash around their readers. So for that, very, very well done. uwu.
The worldbuilding in this story is insane. It seriously gave me a run for my own crudely-built high fantasy series. For this section, I'll have to take notes from you. lol. I love how the science and magic mixed into one big fantastical explosion and it makes my experimental butt giggle. Don't be surprised if I use this story as one of my inspirations in the future. ehe.
Since this is a published book, the prose and authorial voice is heavily-polished. I spotted like, one typo, and that's it. Thank you for not giving my brain a hard time trying to catch and correct errors. lol. Good job for that too. uwu.
Lastly, before this section explodes into a whole fanfest, I guess the emotional aspect of the story is so good it got me caring about the characters five chapters in. I even cared for the equestrians. xD It's really rare for me to crave going to the next book, especially from Wattpad, and this story was able to do that. Another job very well done. Yay.
What didn't work: First point would be the ending. I get that it's already published so it's not like you could change it at this point in time. But, yeah. The complete cut-off ending didn't work for me. It failed to give me some sort of satisfying closure with all the character arcs and the conflict because well...it's a cut-off.
The villains of the story is also not built very well. I have no idea what their goal was and why they're doing what they're doing. This is the first book so I understand the need to conceal some big, conflict details but as it is, I wasn't able to sympathize with the villains. I feel like their arcs were skipped or glossed over after they [spoiler redacted] by the MCs. I would have loved seeing the two of them try to break out at least once and the MCs stop them. It would have made for a more convincing villain arc.
The external conflict, I feel, is also thrown into the story as a plot device and is not executed well. There wasn't any build-up that would have made for a convincing development.
Lastly, I feel like the first half of the story was somehow disjointed from the last part. I was hoping we'd get another glimpse of the city two of our MCs had left or that it would have some kind of connection to the chaos happening topside but their origins were left out as the story focused on the magical component.
What to improve: I really don't know how to deliver this section, since well, it's published already. lol. But yeah, def those points above. I suggest fleshing out the villains more and have them take deeper root into the story. Add background details in building up the external conflict. Other than that, this story is really, really well done. :))
Final verdict: This is a solid 9/10 on my scale. It has everything a story needs to be an enjoyable read and even gives more. I can't wait to read the characters' next adventure. You might have just gained a fan in me. Keep writing. Keep telling stories of awesomeness like this. I think you're already there. :))
