This book is for the reviews of the stories submitted to via the now-obsolete Pink Alpaca Reads. Beware: honest opinions ahead.
***
Graphics made by @Exequinne.
Disclaimer: This program is separate from any communities or Wattpad Ambassador Initiat...
"Rose run!" A voice yelled from all around me as I sprinted across the scorched field, dry air wailing sadly, as if mourning my ill fate. Dark clouds loomed above my head, frequent flashes of lightning illuminating whatever was left of the burnt ground. Rain poured down on me as my feet ached. Eerie whispers surrounded me, demanding me to keep going, but I was too tired.
"Do you really think you can escape from me? You foolish girl!" A heavy, manly voice scoffed, as I felt a gush of wind, laced with the pungent odour of blood pass by me and there he stood, the crimson liquid dripping from the fangs in his mouth, burns and scars covering his body. "Let us end this, once and for all," he smirked, before biting into my skin as I let out a blood curdling scream...
___________
Rosalyn Arya Silverhawk has everything a girl can desire. Perfect looks. Perfect family. Perfect life. But what she does not know is the secret of her existence, which is far bigger than she, or anyone else can ever comprehend.
But she is not the only one hiding secrets. What happens when the Blackwood brothers move into Crestfall High, with secrets of their own?
Together with her friends and family, can she stop the unknown evil looming over New Orleans?
"In a world of dazzle, mirth and love, lie secrets beyond anyone's imagination. Nothing is as it seems. Trapped in a mesh of conspiracies and earth shattering secrets, can she make it out alive?
Some things are better kept secret... or are they?"
Review Proper
A. Blurb
The blurb sets up the character and the world quite nicely. It tells us what to expect on the book and has a good hook to it. However, I fear that it's too...long? It failed to entice me the first time I read it because of those two massive paragraphs of flowery descriptions of action. When people look at blurbs, they want a quick explanation of what the story is about. The first lines are very crucial so use that to your advantage by creating snappy and attention-grabbing words.
For the second half, which was supposedly the real blurb, the first sentence and the second kind of felt disjointed and didn't flow smoothly. What was the secret to her existence got to do with the MC's perfect life? That part wasn't clear.
The rest of the sentences until the very end were kind of stuffed together without thinking of the main point of the story. For me, it didn't quite get there in explaining what the story is about. One thing that I noticed upon reading the blurb and reading into the first third of the story was that the story itself is underwhelming compared to your hook (earth-shattering, far bigger, beyond anyone's imagination). I'll get to that in the subsequent sections.
