This book is for the reviews of the stories submitted to via the now-obsolete Pink Alpaca Reads. Beware: honest opinions ahead.
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What I loved: I def loved the unique premise this story had regarding the retelling of The Little Mermaid. uwu.
What didn't work: I think the foremost thing I noticed was that the story picks up immediately in the middle of the action, which is good, commendable, even, but the way the characters are introduced is just...disjointed. I wasn't able to connect to any of them at all because of the way the names are info-dumped into the story. The dialogue between them feels a little bit forced and unnatural too and I am thoroughly confused about what's actually going on. The build of the setting, the scenes, and even the scene shifts are just...rather confusing.
What needs improvement: Now, I know for a fact that it's the retelling of the Little Mermaid and that lore has characters that all start with A so that added to the confusion. What I could suggest is to not take everything from the lore and go from there? Def work on the points I mentioned above and I think you'll have the beginnings of a good story/premise. Just that we need to work on the technical side of telling a story. ;-;
Final verdict: DNF at 40%. I haven't read much into it due to the issues mentioned above so yeah. I'll leave the rating at that. I hope this doesn't discourage you in any way because that's the opposite of what I intend to do with these reviews. So yeah, keep learning. Keep writing. We'll get there in no time. uwu.
