This book is for the reviews of the stories submitted to via the now-obsolete Pink Alpaca Reads. Beware: honest opinions ahead.
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What I loved: I love the whole premise and hook of this story. It is filled with good adventure, good characters, and good humor. I love, love, love the characters and they're all huge cinnamon rolls (well, except Alcina. We don't talk about Alcina. lol). The world building is superb and the science is explained in such a way that even my dumb ass can understand it. The plot is intriguing, as well as the flow of character thoughts. The narrative was really, really clean as well, in terms of grammar and prosal skill. Props to you. It made the reading experience so much nicer. Overall, this is a very, very nice read.
What didn't work: I guess the ending didn't work out for me. It did sound rushed and cut short with no definitive conclusion. The arcs you are building kind of frayed at the end instead of being tied off. For a first book, it didn't feel satisfying. Sure, it invites readers to itch reading for the next books, but as it is, it's a bit lacking.
Some arcs I would love to see explained and/or expounded are Evie's parallel universe jump, the thing with Novak and others, and Evie's friendship with Anukie. Because I feel like this book clumped so much content and touched so many themes and plot lines that it ended up getting jumbled towards the end.
The story seemed to be suffering from a case of character soup as well. There are some characters that even in their absence, the story would still make sense. It made it hard for me to remember names, especially at the first chapters.
What to improve: Def those points above. I suggest doing a thorough structural and developmental edit to the whole plotline and narrowing the focus of the book to one or two. I think seeing the series as a big picture will definitely help. Same with characters and their roles in the story. My DMs in both Discord and Wattpad are open if you have more questions. uwu.
I also feel like the character voice needs a little bit of polishing. There were points in the narrative where the voice detaches from the character and just becomes impersonal, especially with descriptions.
Lastly, there are minor typos but that's the least of your worries in posting online. Oh, and I think Ch 22 is somewhat yeeted somewhere between 24 and 25 so I'm a bit confused when I breezed through. It's an easy fix, though. lol.
Final verdict: This is a solid 9/10 on my scale. A dazzling adventure, a good dose of wit and stringent humor, and a story filled with heart and fluff. This has been a delightful read. Keep writing. Keep telling Evie's stories. I'll be your fan throughout. uwu.
