Love on the brain

Just like me

As soon as I walked into the house, my eyes locked with Kabelo's mom's eyes and I stood still. "Hey ma" Kabelo said, not worried about what's about to happen. I was so ready for his mom to kick me out or shout at Kabelo for always bringing girls around. Nothing like that happened, I greeted her with full respect and she greeted back.

Kabelo's mom is a quiet woman, in her late 40s, she was definitely the same age as my mother. She looked like she was taking a nap or something. We were standing in the kitchen before she made her way to her room which was downstairs. "Kabelo make sure you clean those dishes before you leave again, please, I don't want to fight with you" she calmly spoke and she left.

"How do you feel you just met my mother" he asked me before offering me food or a drink. His mom cooked so I figured we'd eat that whenever I feel hungry. I felt an ounce of happiness that I met his mother, he made seem like it's something special. "The fact that you met mother, not just anybody meets my mother, let alone come into her house while she's here" he said as he led us upstairs. Maybe I am special.

We went into his room and it was surprisingly neat, not a smell of dirty shoes or anything "man like" if I may say. It's a clean room, with a mother like that, I'd also keep my room neat. Thing is, it's always the soft, calm mothers that are extremely strict. "While we walked up the stairs, I noticed a picture of your whole family, you didn't tell me you had 2 older sisters!"

"I'm not a fan of them" he shrugged as he laid on the bed. He signaled that I should come lay beside him and I did. "Why not?" I asked and he took time to answer. "They're mean" he fake sobbed and I laughed at him. We stared at the ceiling while we spoke, it was like we had nothing else to do. "You're not mean?" I asked as I sat up and looked at him. "I'm far from mean" he sat up too.

"That's why all these girl can have their way with you" I said before looking down at my fingers. He held up my chin and looked at me for a while before smiling. "They're not you and I keep telling you this" he softly spoke and I got mesmerised by his smile, his eyes all together. We had a moment of silence and I could tell that he's looking at both my lips and my eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" I whispered. He shrugged and stood up. One thing about Kabelo, he will never be vulnerable with me or share his thoughts with me. It's hard and I know that if I have to keep asking, he'd get irritated with me. "Have you figured out what you want to do this year?" He asked me as he took off his shirt and revealed his muscular body and his abs. "Yeah, carry your babies" I joke, I tried to keep my eyes on his face but I couldn't help but to stare at his sexy body.

"Brat focus!" He chuckled as he came and sat beside me. "You're not putting a shirt on?" I asked before blushing my way out of this conversation. "Nah" he simply said as he answered his phone. "I'm busy right now, I'll come over later on" he spoke through the phone. I heard a male voice speak so I was certain it wasn't a female or else I'd trip.

"I'm taking a gap year remember?" I reminded him and he nodded. He is took a gap year last year and now he will be studying graphic designing. It suits him honestly, I've never imagined anything else but graphic designing or IT. "What did you do in your gap year?" I asked him. He took a while answering once again before saying "Getting depressed" he said before laughing.

"How? What made you feel like that?" I asked and there was silence since he occupied himself with his phone. "Focus!" I said as I grabbed his phone and put it behind me. His hand wraps around my thigh and somehow how I saw faint, silvery scars on his wrist. The sight arrests my breath in contrast of the way his hands felt in my body. A rush of concern, empathy and a desire to connect with him, a complex, vulnerable person filled my body. However, I don't speak, I don't confront it because I knew I'd have to do it carefully.

I straddled him as his hands roamed my body, grabbing everything it can grab. I couldn't shake the thought, but Jabari. Jabari was my first, when he wasn't supposed to. In today's age, we say a wasted body. It was supposed to be Kabelo. As I gaze back into Kabelo's eyes, trying to forget about Jabari, the imagine of those scars took me,yet his touch started a blazing fire within me. I felt more compassion, I felt like calming his struggles down, I felt like caressing him and not letting go, I felt like staying with him until he gets better.

I grabbed his face and calculated what could happen, what happens if we get physical, I mean we have the perfect setting to do it. All along we couldn't do anything beyond kissing because we were always in public but now? What would we be waiting for?

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Will Jabari ever be forgotten?
Where do you think those scars stem from?