Love on the brain

Broken promises

"I'm gonna leave right now" I said calmly as I called the Uber. He was stuck between admitting to his wrong or acting like nothing's wrong. "Let me call it for you" he insisted as he grabs his phone. I kept quiet and watched him call it for me. "I don't understand why she'd be mad to see you with me" I said and he ignored me. "What's worse is you're gonna act like you don't know what I'm talking about" I confronted him. "How would I know why she's mad" he asked and I shouted back, trying by all means to keep my composure. "Why do you care if she's mad or not if she doesn't mean anything?" I asked.

"I never said she doesn't mean anything, she's my friend" he argued and I got irritated by him. The Uber arrived and I just left without saying bye or anything. I sat in that Uber texting him long paragraphs. "Does she like you?" Is how it all started and he couldn't answer it, he ignored it. I sat in that Uber trying to understand who that girl is to him. She's everywhere she shouldn't be and she's definitely involved somehow.

I texted Angel, a girl from a lower grade who would know something about this girl. She knows everything that goes on at school and I just need to know the truth.

Angel

Hey girl! You good?

Hey Nals, I'm good, how are you?

I'm fine, I need your help with something😩

Wassup?

There's this girl who's always with Kabelo. She's in the same school as you. I don't know if you know her but it seems like she's an issue

Goitse? She's light skinned, right now she has long Fulani braids?

I think so, I saw her standing with him when I came to fetch my statement. I saw her again today at the basketball court by Kabelo's house. She was so mad at Kabelo for some odd reason and Kabelo was basically kissing her ass, something he'd never do for me.

That's definitely her! Kabelo has been fetching her from school, visiting her. We're low-key friends . They were supposed to be dating by now but Kabelo keeps playing. Goitse really likes him and stuff. You still with him?

We're actively messing around, I thought it was serious but I guess he's playing all of us.

I got out the Uber and ran straight to my room. My dad was probably shocked at how quick I made it home. I was heartbroken, the sinking feeling in my stomach took charge, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I kept rereading Angel's texts and trying to think of the lies she could be potentially telling me but I know it's true. Kabelo is like that, he plays way too much. I hate that I trusted he could be different.

Kabelo🖤

Does she like you?
Read 14:30

He was actively ignoring me. I pulled myself together before going into the bathroom. I bawled my eyes out as I lit a candle and poured the wax on my inner thigh and scraped off my skin with a pair of scissors. The feeling of bits and pieces of my skin were being pulled out. The last time I did this was 2021, I felt so angry that I hurt myself, I promised myself I wouldn't do it again but here I am, doing it again.

I hate myself for being a fool, I thought. I wish I wasn't like this, I wish I didn't just fall for the stupid things he'd say. I wish I didn't meet him ever! I wish he could leave me alone because we all know I can't. I feel like there's something wrong with me that I can't change, I can't do anything about this.

I walked back to my bedroom and got into bed, ready to take a nap. I had a long day in such a short period of time. I couldn't believe what just happened.

A few hours later, a buzz on my phone wakes me up. I swipe without even knowing who's calling me, it's probably Kabelo. "Brat" I hear and I groan softly. "We're really gonna go on like everything's normal? Like I didn't ask you a question?" I ask and I could see his face change. He probably went and entertained that girl before he could call me. "How would I know if she likes me or not Brat? Your question doesn't make sense at all" he says. "You're not ready to talk about this so bye" I hang up before my blood boils and scream my lungs out.

He didn't call me back. It's midnight and I'm up thinking about this whole situation, didn't he say that's a child? Angel can't be lying and even if she was, Kabelo's actions can't back him up, I'd still believe the lie because of his reputation and all the mistakes he did with me. How could he let me go to bed, or how could he go to bed without saying goodnight or at least trying to solve this issue. That's just how I know he's not with it.