Love on the brain

Stay Ready

Thursday afternoon

I'm sitting by the balcony, enjoying the cool breeze. It was as cold as it looked, it was drizzling a bit but not too much. I stood there and thought about my life without Kabelo. We haven't spoken in a week and I keep asking myself how he's living without talking to me for a week. I've been fine, I've been focusing on my mindfulness, I have no time to argue or fight right now.

I've been talking to Tshepang about it. Tshepang, Jay and Kabelo are all friends. Tshepang is a dark skinned, stud who is surprisingly the only loyal and healthy one out of that whole group, I mean I have no clue about Jay's love life but he seems to be following in his friends footsteps. Tshepang become friends so oddly, she gave me a shoulder to cry on and from then on we have been growing closer.

Speaking of the devil, I think to myself as my phone rings and I answer it. "Hey girl!" She said to me and I chuckled. "What are you coming home so we can gossip" I asked as I stop up and threw myself on the bed. We spoke about school and how she hates what she's doing, she just came back from school and she's chilling with her friends but she's tired. She's studying Law.

"Brat, listen, please don't hang up I beg" I suddenly heard Kabelo speak. "I love you, I know fucked up but I'm gonna make it up to you I promise" he said. I couldn't tell whether or not he's high or not but this was random. "You're gonna ignore me for the whole week and tell me you love me? Only time and your actions can tell if you can make it up to me or not" I said, "I'm sick of your dumbass promises" I mumbled through the phone and he didn't hear me. "Can we talk about this when I get back home?" He asked.

I got up and started cooking mince and spaghetti for my family. I put on some Beyoncé as I cooked so I can uplift my mood. My sister was not home, she was probably with her boyfriend and my dad was on his way home. I had a mini concert in the kitchen, I danced and sang around as I cooked. I was like a child who was given some candy.

Time passed, my family even got home, we ate dinner and were all ready to go sleep and Kabelo still hasn't called me or texted me. I got in bed because I know I'd never win with him. He is just a pathological liar at this point. I have nothing nice to say about him but that. I've been waiting for his call this whole day and he still hasn't called me but he says he loves me. He will never do right by me and it's time I accept and move one. I feel my body getting heavier and my eyes shutting slowly, I could tell it's time for bed.

Friday morning

The smell of bacon hit my nose as I slowly made my way to the bathroom. I wish that was for me, I thought. It would be cute to be made food, breakfast specifically. It's a school day and I have a 10am class. I always skip breakfast because I'm always late. I wish I could manage my time better, my mom and I used to fight every morning and to think I still haven't changed. I did everything I had to do in the bathroom, from brushing my teeth to showering. I kept thinking about Kabelo and how I'm not on his mind like he's on mine.

"Bye dad" I say to my dad as he typed away in the office. I wasn't going to school this whole time because I didn't have a lecture for one module and it was the most challenging. We got an email from the school saying we have one now so I'm excited for that. School gives me so much anxiety, I really wish I took a break after matric, I really need it but my parents think otherwise so I'll let them be.

I'm working on getting my learners, I need to start driving. My dad makes me feel it more than anybody in my life. Taking Ubers in the morning and taking taxis in the afternoon is the worst. Luckily I have new earphones so I can tune out anything external in the moment. I could tell the Uber driver wanted to talk to me but the last time I listened to an Uber driver, my relationship went bad, I'm good for now.

I run to class, looking at the time and I'm 10 minutes late. I run up the stairs, trying not to bump anybody, my heart was racing and I was out of breath by the time I got to the door. I stopped before opening the door, knocked but then regretted because I wasn't ready to go in, I looked a mess. The door opened to a tall, mixed man with black hair and a broad figure. I was leaning towards him and his strong hands  grasped my shoulders,  steadying me.

"Oh, I'm sorry-" I said as my breathing oddly regulated. His chiseled features, a sharp jawline and full pink lips that were hinting a smile. He wore a white shirt, sleeves rolled up, exposing his sleeve tattoos and a single, light gold bracelet. His shirt was paired with black jeans that fit him perfectly. He looked me from my dirty converse to my dark brown, doe eyes.

"You're late" he said softly but firmly, his deep voice sent chills down my spine.
"I'm sorry sir" I stammer, trying to compose myself.
"You're lucky I haven't started" his eyes narrowed. He looked so familiar but I couldn't think where I know him from. I sat in the only spot in front as I took out my books

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Who is that!? Our new lecturer is gonna give us problems!