I think that's what Jehovah wanted. For me to see myself and feel shame for what I was doing, so that I would change. But also to see the reality of everything. That I was making Kevin better than who he really was. To not do that again with the next person I meet...
Jehovah woke me up in a brutal way but it's my consequence. It's his discipline... and I'm lucky I got it like that and not through the elders or my parents. That would've of been more shameful.
I think Jehovah gave me time to solve it... That's why my parents never asked. Not even when my mom saw his gifts. She didn't say anything. It was like he only existed in my world and everyone was unaware of his existence but me.
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Jehovah saw everything... he waited for the right moment to tell me.
If I had known the truth years ago I probably would've left Jehovah for good. Or I would've taken it the wrong way and become resentful.
But Jehovah knew that my heart wasn't ready to digest it.
Even weeks ago I wasn't ready, but I was more mature than before.
Honestly I thought Kevin would never tell me. I was preparing myself mentally to never know the truth. And I was starting to let it go. But Jehovah wasn't gonna let me have it.
Jehovah warned me through my mom many times... through my dad. Through Daniela. Through a mature sister... Jehovah tried and I didn't listen. So that was his last resort.
All those times I would get annoyed because I didn't know Kevin's secrets... because he wouldn't open up, because he would try to protect me, because he didn't want to disappoint me... all those years I spent getting mad because he'd say "One day I'll tell you", but never would...
And that day I finally understood everything.
