"If I do it I'll regret it". - my conscience
"doitdoitdoit". - my heart
My heart doesn't want me to grow up, but my mind does...
If I go back to my old personality I'll become stupid, just like my dad. Not only that but Jehovah says to get rid of the old personality and it's practices...
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Honestly, the more I think about my future and growing up, the more anxious I get.
I almost had a panic attack 2 weeks ago from the overwhelming thoughts. Or maybe I was having it and I thought it was just me being a cry baby when I was actually falling apart. But I could stop it better this time because I prayed for help...
Thinking of everything made me anxious. That I'm leaving my old life behind and becoming someone else... acquiring more experience and responsibility. Which is great. But my heart makes me want to regress every time I try to grow up. It wants to hold on to certain things because it's afraid of the unknown.
But the fact that I'm still smiling even with the fights in my insides... it's an accomplishment.
