I could be most likely right and wrong. He could be the next person I date, but possibly not work.
It could fail because of his illness, his maturity, or his virginity. The only confirmed thing is the illness, and that's the bigger thing. Like, will I be mature enough to handle it?
And his maturity, I question it, but at the same time, there's times I think he's more mature than me. So actually, I have to work on my maturity more than he does. He could acquire the experience needed for responsibilities in other ways that aren't necessarily living by himself... and plus I bet he doesn't spend money the way I do. I have to care for my spending too...
Thirdly his virginity... I have a feeling he isn't because he's had multiple relationships... and he's told me things that give me hints but... at the same time I find it hard to believe that he would. Or if he has done it but regrets it... does that count? Like, if he did it with just 1 woman, and he regrets it all his life... would I be able to accept that? Accept that, he made a mistake, and that he wishes I had been the first one?
I don't have the answers to any of these questions... and unfortunately, the only way to answer them is by taking the risk and have the experience. Which is even more terrifying.
I have the belief that men should approach the woman first.
But at the same time I also believe women could lay the handkerchief on the floor so the man picks it up and gives it to her. Sort of an opportunity creator.
I don't want the man to disrespect me and believe all things should be handed to him easily... the man should feel that he's making the effort to win me over. That way he'll value me. And I can't make myself too obvious but can't be hard to get either... so how the hell do you do all that in one instance!? 😂😂
Sigh. Only time will tell, for real. If he ends up in a relationship a year from now, then I will have written this for nothing. But hey, at least I learned more about myself.
Go to sleep Danna you have service... SHUT YOUR HEAD.
