"At least they said sorry" - my conscience
"But after losing all hope..." - my heart
"But they were imperfect..." - my conscience
"I know they were but some things can't be excused..." - my heart
—
One thing that I hated because I knew it was right, was my ex saying that forgiveness isn't for him but for myself.
Like do you understand how humiliating that feels? That somebody who hurts you, tries to correct you, for something that he hurt you for? The same person who apologizes trying to teach you how to forgive. The same people who hurt you teaching you life lessons... the same people who were assholes telling you to grow up... sigh...
Like I need your stupid teaching lessons.
But the truth is I needed those lessons. As much as I hated them all, and as much as I could've saved myself the trouble I didn't. So while they all keep moving on I keep sucking the hurt in. And it's like... like they all sucked the best in me. I hate that I'm not the same anymore and that's another reason why I'm having trouble growing up. Because I wanted to grow up differently, not like this. I can't automatically let it all go when too much has happened in a short amount of time...
