Dangerously Close (Aris x Reader)

34) Balanced Out

Finally, the only one who can call me poet, the only one it feels right from, is here.

I told him he could go back to the bonfire. I really did promise that I didn't mind.

He didn't, and I don't know why I expected anything less.

“I like the tent. It means nobody can ever just barge into the space.”

“Mhm,”I nodded, not planning on telling him about Cain in the slightest.

“I like the forest being close by. I like a lot of things about this place.”

“It's kind of an adjustment to accept, but it's nice.”

Small things can be adjustments too. They really can. They can also be the difference between space and trust.

I didn't want pajamas yet. Not in the slightest.

Sleeping under the sleeping bag wasn't a bad idea. With him.

With one on the floor and one on top of us, there was plenty of space. Enough for him to not be completely beside me. I don't think I can sleep with anyone so close yet. Waking up could definitely freak me out.

This is fine though.

“Am I allowed to acknowledge it yet?”He whispered.

“Yes.”

“We’re holding hands.”

It was such a small statement. It was so simple and had probably been said by a million other people.

He didn't seem to care as his voice, while still quiet, had this warmth to it. The kind of warmth you’d find from fire on nights when you couldn't even feel your fingers.

“Yes. We are.”

“We’ve held hands before.”

“Mhm.”

“Now we're holding hands while together.”

“Yes.”

“I like holding your hand.”

Sighing, I admired the way he looks even in darkness. His smile was small but still noticeable, one of the most noticeable things about him even. One of the best things too.

“I like holding your hand too.”

“Yours are soft.”

“Yours are warm.”

I’ve never felt like this before. I never thought I would. My life was meant to be on the run and full of danger.

And just like that, because of one night of violence, mercy, and a desperate need to stay alive, we’re here.

“I love you.”

“Don't say it too much. It could lose its meaning,”I pointed out.

“If I mean it every time I say it, it won't. Not one bit.”

“And if the day comes when you don't mean it?”

“Why worry about a day that doesn't exist?”

× ~ × ~ × ~ ×

I would be awake even if I wasn't essentially confined to one sleeping position. Rest was never my specialty. It never will be. I know that, and I accept that.

It's his for sure. He was out in just a few minutes, his grip on my hand loosening but still remaining in mine.

I like this? I think? It's kind of weird. I’ve never even had a friend before, and the only romantic attention I got was from a playboy partier that had nothing genuine in common with me.

Aris and I don't seem to have a ton in common, but it's in a way that seems to balance itself out. It makes sense for us to be so close despite being so different. It makes sense for me, someone who tends to see the darker side of everything and is full of guilt and feeling undeserving of good, finding being kind and people being kind to me difficult, to be with someone who sees the good in the world around him. Someone who goes through painful things and still remains so full of love. Someone so wonderful I wish I could spend every moment with him.

“I love you,”I whispered, turning my head to look at him. Turned on his side, his hair that I hadn't noticed growing out before hung in front of his eyes. The freckles littering his skin reminded me of the stars in the sky, of constellations that haven't been discovered yet.

He’s the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even after I resisted every act of care he showed me, he decided I was worth a chance.

I can't screw this up again. I can't leave and be filled with bad things again. I can't leave my Aris behind.