Dangerously Close (Aris x Reader)

84) Forgotten Anniversaries

My head was still hurting, a sickness that refused to leave. It wasn't that I was hungover anymore, though that did suck.

It was me. Because I was foolish enough to get to that state in the first place. I, of all people, should know better. And I didn't. Or I didn't act like it.

Sighing, I forced myself to sit up. When I had to squint to see two feet in front of me, I realized it was night outside. Somehow, I had slept through the entire day again, taking a break to wake up and complain. There's no way this isn't the start of my complete and utter ruin. Every great empire must crumble eventually, and I was running the Scorch for so long. Would it really be a shock if I failed in a completely different atmosphere?

But that doesn't matter. Not really. For the people I care about, for the people who taught me to love, I have no choice but to get back up.

“Hey,”he whispered, voice quieter than it had ever been, even more silent than our first official conversation when I was going out of my way to be cold, cruel and calculating words designed to make sure he would think nothing but the worst of me.

Yeah. That really worked.

“Why are ya’ up?”I whispered back, rubbing the side of my face as I held in a yawn.

“Couldn't sleep,”he answered. As I looked over, I saw his eyes glued to his hands that were in his lap, back slouched as he was clearly deep in thought. Even in the dark, it was impossible not to notice his crooked fingernails, a habit that could get out of hand really quick.

Leaning over the floor, I blindly reached for the lantern. He didn't react to the movement, fixated on something in his head. Figuring it would best to be able to see before anything, I found the cold, metal handle. With success, I wrapped my hand around it, pulling it on my lap. He turned his eyes to me as I found the switch, turning it slowly enough to make sure it wouldn't be an unexpected flash but would still give us something.

“What’s goin’ on over there?”I whispered. I’m not sure why exactly we're making sure there has to be total silence or we won't be able to hear each other, but it probably has something to do with his growing frown and eyes that, while not welling with tears yet, were far too damp.

“It's fine,”he insisted. Still, he wiped his eyes with the side of his mouth, his voice cracking at the end.

Turning the lantern higher, I then set it back down, illuminating our room, casting our shadows behind us. Reaching for his hand, I pulled it out of his lap, firmly lacing our fingers together. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he tightly squeezed.

“Ya’ know, I remember when someone very smart taught me not to hold everythin’ in all the time. Showed me how much it could cost me if I ain't careful with the truth. And it doesn't end well, Aris. It can't,”I softly reminded him, grabbing his other hand, keeping both of them safe.

“That rule’s a lot easier when I don't have to follow it,”he mumbled, blinking back tears.

“I know. Things usually are,”I coaxed, switching from his hands to brush my fingers through his hair, keeping my touch light. As I tried to run them through this growing brunette strands that were usually so soft, so taken care of, I found a few knots, a subtle unkemptness that made my stomach churn.

“Aris,”I whispered, gently taking his face in my hands. His eyes were still tightly shut, an unwillingness to let tears fall. “It's goin’ to be alright. Whatever's goin’ on, ya’ve survived worse,”I pointed.

“She didn't.”

His two words mixed into one, a need to get them out before he couldn't speak. When he opened his eyes for just a moment, tears finally spilled over, slowly dripping down his cheeks. My frozen hands did nothing, the reminder hitting me in the heart, the realization that he didn't even need her name to explain who he was talking about.