39) On Edge

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“Don't be so rough with it.”

“That's how you finish before pain kicks in though. The adrenaline is good,”I explained, stopping sewing the thread through the fabric.

“Your worry isn't the adrenaline anymore. It's making sure people heal right.”

Sighing, I dropped the needle on the bed, resting my chin on my hands as I stared at the canopy.

“You’ll get the hang of it,”She encouraged.

“What if I don't? I don't want to go back to,”I trailed off.

“You will. Just remember. You don't have to worry about something bad happening. Nobody's going to die if they have to wait a minute to be fixed up.”

“I might not be able to do that though. I mean switching like that overnight is insane.”

“I’m not saying do it overnight. Just do your best.”

“What if my best isn't good enough?”I questioned, turning back to face her.

“You’ve already got experience. Unconventional experience maybe but experience nonetheless. That's more than some people can say.”

She's right.

That doesn't mean it might not be enough though.

I could mess it up. I mess everything up. All the time.

Seeing a flash of movement almost out of sight, my eyes flickered to the entrance.

There was nothing. A fact that made the feeling worse. He could be anywhere by now. A thousand miles away or hiding in plain sight.

“You alright?”Mary checked, pulling me out of my head.

“Yeah,”I slowly nodded only to wince as I remembered my shoulder.

“What happened?”She instantly questioned, pulling the collar of my shirt down enough to reveal the growing bruise.

“I don't know,”I lied, keeping my expression neutral despite my heart racing as I went over it all again.

“Are you sure?”

She seemed to look right through me. It was obvious she didn't believe me despite me being a flawless liar. Then again, this doesn't exactly look the best.

“I move a lot in my sleep. I’ve rolled in it a few times. Even woken myself up.”

Her expression went back to normal as she nodded. I held back a sigh of relief.

“We should probably fix it up again then?”She suggested.

“Yeah. That sounds fine.”

× ~ × ~ × ~ ×

Today only got more stressful. I only grew more on edge. Everything was a warning. Everything made me want to fight and run. It was essentially hell, and it would be until I found some way to put an end to what happened.

Today is over though. It's over for now, and I want to think about anything else until I can't.

It was interesting. To come home to something I had grown used to just for it to be something else. It's an odd feeling.

I’ll miss the tent quite a bit. Even if it stressed me out at times, I had grown used to all of it. The bag with supplies being right beside me, the sleeping bags, everything.

Now my clothes are hanging on a rack right by Aris’s, the pajamas included. My hygiene supplies were in a bag hanging on the end while his were on the other.

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