Dangerously Close (Aris x Reader)

66) Misdirected Anger

Every person walking by made me jump. Every unexpected noise made me want to arm myself. Everything about life felt dangerous.

That's stupid. I know. I could be dealing with people that have actual skill and determination to get rid of me. All I have is petty words and some bruises. I’ll more than live.

“Can you go grab Rose for me?”Mary requested.

“Sure. The super short one with the bob, right?”I checked.

“Yeah. She should be in the kitchen. She’s just supposed to have come back by now to check in on her burn from yesterday.”

“Right. On it,”I agreed, heading out.

I’m surrounded by people. I’m surrounded by everyone so there's nothing to even worry about. Nobody would be bold enough to try anything in front of the entire Safe Haven. Besides, I’m looking out for them anyway. I’m being careful so even though I’m paranoid-
Before I could finish my thought, something connected with the back of my knee. In a sick twist of irony, the move I had used so many times to both end a life and continue mine was being used on me for the sake of pain.

You can't control it. How quickly it sends you to the ground. I of all people would know. I’ve seen it firsthand.

My knees scraped on the ground. Taking a harsh breath, I closed my eyes as I tried not to react to the impact. The only giveaway of the pain was how I winced as my face twisted for a moment.

“Sorry. Didn't see you walking.”

Ignoring him, I stood, brushing off my jeans. Pretending not to notice the few stares, I went to do as Mary instructed. Grab Rose from the kitchen and bring her to the Clinic to check on her burn. That's the only significant thing that needs to have happened today.

× ~ × ~ × ~ ×

“What’s with the bandaged knees?”

I stared at Thomas in disbelief at him already asking questions. I understand that Extras are constantly moving around, but why does he have to know every little thing?

“I tripped,”I shrugged, taking a bite of my food.

“You probably shouldn't do that.”

“Thanks, Thomas. I'll come to your dumbass next time I wanna know why the damn sky is blue,”I snapped, rolling my eyes at him.

“I was just joking? You know that's all I always joke.”

I know, but I’m past the point of caring. I don't want to deal with him right now. I don't want to deal with anyone.

“Well, maybe it's annoyin’. Have ya’ ever thought ‘bout that?”

“No. Because you always joke back with me.”

“Maybe I don't want to joke back with ya’,”I huffed, standing up in my spot.

“Y/N-”
“Fuck off, Thomas,”I said loudly, storming off to go be alone. I don't even care what happens to me anymore. I’m so sick of everybody. Of Mary always offering to help me, of Thomas always saying stupid shit, of Aris interrogating me. I. Am. Done.

× ~ × ~ × ~ ×

“They don’t get it, Nameless. They don't understand,”I sighed, spinning the string in circles. Twirling around, she reached for it, her sharp claws out. “I can't take back what I did. I was a monster, and I know that. I didn't want to though. It was how I stayed alive, Nameless. It was my only way to get to the next day,”I whispered, setting the string down and pulling it towards me. Pouncing on it, she started chewing it to frayed bits, turning on her back and kicking her feet as she did. “You seemed like you were alone for a while too. And you're still such a pretty kitty. Everyone loves you. Everyone understands that you're a cat. And even though I have people who understand me, they had to know me. It's so dehumanizing that people have to have a relationship with me to see me as someone worth something.”

Forcing the string away from my hand, she laid down beside me while keeping it in her mouth. Turning on my side, I pulled her closer, kissing her forehead as I stroked her back.

“Hi.”

I raised my head at his voice, giving him what I think was a smile, before cuddling back into her.

“Is there a reason you insulted Thomas today?”

“He was getting on my nerves,”I mumbled.

“He’s basically your best friend so I’m just-”
“So I can't be irritated by people now?”

He looked at the ground as he went silent. Refusing to speak as well, I closed my eyes, ignoring his footsteps walking towards me. Even as he laid behind me, getting under the sheets, I didn't acknowledge him.

Slowly, as though I’d smack him at the slightest touch, he wrapped one of his arms around my stomach. When I didn't move, he placed his other one under me, resting his face on my shoulder.

“I love you,”He mumbled.

I’m really tired of life. I’m tired of how easy it is to send me back to a paranoid and angry state. I’m tired of the constant bad things that pop out of nowhere. I’m tired of having to be calm.

I love them though. I love every friend I have. I treasure every moment. I love Aris more than anything. He was the first one I ever loved in any way.

“I love you too.”