Dangerously Close (Aris x Reader)

61) Nameless

I woke up to the feeling of something small laying on my stomach. Rubbing my eyes, I looked down at the cat that was awake but not moving, staring up at me.

“Any idea where Aris is?”I sighed. She kept her blank gaze as she stood up and jumped to the ground, landing on her feet the way she's apparently supposed to.

Sighing, I swung my own feet over the bed, shuddering as they touched the floor. Still, I stood, barely tolerating it as I walked to the rack and grabbed my long black shirt, slipping it over my head. It was loose around me, which I liked. It just feels like another way to stay hidden, even if it really isn't.

The cat brushed against my ankle, softly purring. Bending down, I picked her up, holding her in my arms. She got herself comfortable, lightly digging her claws into my shoulder as she laid her head there, still making those same happy vibrations.

“Come on. Morning adventure time,”I sighed, stroking her silky fur. She let out a quiet meow as I walked out the canopy only for the adventure to end as I immediately found what I needed.

Sighing, I took a spot beside him. As he looked over, I laid the cat on his lap. He stared at her as his frown turned to a small smile. She was unbothered by being moved, continuing to pur.

“I like the life we’ve made here. The jobs, the friends, the pet, the home, the routine. I love all of it. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world,”I promised, absentmindedly picking at my nails as I looked away from him.

“I wouldn't either.”

“But you need to understand that things don't always work out. And if somehow this doesn't, if it really is my karma to be alone, I need to know that you would be okay. That you would keep building a life, even if it doesn't have me.”

“I . . . I wish I could tell you yes. That it would be alright if it would make you stop worrying. I can't though. I can't lie to you. The truth is I can't imagine a future without you. Every time I try, my mind goes blank. When I think years from now, it's you and I, still laying together, still talking late into the night, still finding each other in any crowd. Anything else is settling, and I can't do that. Not if I wasn't forced.”

Sighing, I leaned my head on his shoulder as I stared at the rising sun that painted the sky orange and yellow. I’ve seen a lot of sunrises, but I’ve never appreciated the lucent beauty until now. Until I was able to see something lovely in a place of other wonderful things to compare it too.

“So is it best not to talk about it then?”I suggested.

“I think so. Or at least avoid it unless we can't?”

“I think that might make life less stressful.”

He laid his head on top of mine while still petting the cat. I moved my gaze to his hand that was running through her fur, finding that being the easiest way to face reality. Focus on a single part of it instead of the whole picture. It's like having a puzzle you get to put together when you're fully ready to.

“I never ran from my problems before, because there was no way to. I had to face them. If I didn't, I wouldn't have made it. Either that or there was no way to change it. Now I don't really have a problem. I don't know what exactly it is, but I hate it with everything I have. There's this constant threat that makes sure to stick with me. A constant looming dread that one day you won’t be here. That you're going to leave me alone and be in danger for the rest of your life. That you’ll have to go back to something always being able to happen to you just by existing. And I don't want that.”

“I don't want that either. I’ll do everything for it not to happen. I promise,”I whispered, trailing my fingertips up and down his arm.

“I know you will,”He whispered back, grabbing my hand with his free one, resting them on my knee. His thumb rubbed circles around my still calloused knuckles, my hands being ruined from my years in the Scorch even when I left it.

He didn't mind. He wasn't afraid that they would ruin his soft hands. Even when he could do something to damage them, he wouldn't mind if it meant life was better for me.

I’m still so rough. Not just around the edges. So much of me is hard to stomach.

He’s still so soft. His heart beats in a way that makes the world a better place. It's an honor to know him.

Darkness and light. Sometimes I mind it, sometimes I don't, but one thing always stays the same.

Our love is real either way.

The cat has to go somewhere in the picture by now. I’m not sure where, but she's important.

“She deserves a name,”I spoke.

“You mean after going days without one?”He teased.

“Better late than never,”I shrugged.

“Okay. So what are you thinking then?”

I stared at the cat that was sitting contently on his lap, her curious eyes gazing around. Her black fur shone in the sunlight, making it look almost metallic.

“Nameless.”

“Nameless?”He echoed.

“Yeah. Nameless.”

“What do you think? Do you want to be named Nameless?”He asked her, still petting her. She let out a soft meow before staring at the rising sun. “Yeah. I think she likes it.”

“So Nameless it is then?”

“Yeah. Nameless it is.”

× ~ × ~ × ~ ×

She was sleeping when I arrived home after a long, long day. A kid threw up on me so I had to reshower, Mary had to take over stitches because someone said I “look like I’d be careless”, and I ended up having to eat lunch by myself because of how worn out I was.

My day really was miserable.

Nameless is there though.

Flopping on the bed, I slipped my shirt off, literally just letting it go on the floor. I couldn't care where less right now.

She seemed to know as she woke up. I looked at her, watching her slowly blink before standing, stretching out before yawning.

Admittedly, I’m getting really attached to her, even before she was named. I wasn't planning on that, but I also wasn't planning on getting attached to any human. Obviously, that did not work out.

She walked over to me, curling up by my neck. I couldn't help but smile as I scratched behind her ears. She nuzzled into me, clearly enjoying the attention.

Feeling someone’s eyes on me, I looked by the entrance to see Aris standing there, his hair still damp and an almost smug grin on his face.

“Maybe I like her a little bit,”I sighed.

“The feeling looks pretty mutual,”He said, pulling his shirt off and neatly hanging it up, an extreme contrast to mine that was just thrown on the floor.

As he turned around, his eyes stopping on it for a moment, he gave me a sympathetic smile, understanding the action I had never done before. Something about that filled me with butterflies. He knows me. He knows me perfectly.

Laying beside me, he ran a hand through my hair as he turned on his side. I couldn't do the same because of the cat so I trailed my hands up and down his arms again, something I found myself doing as much as I bite my nails now.

Closing his eyes, he sighed, allowing me to. He seemed to like it. That little physical touch that I adored so much.