"I'm not worth it," Virat heard Rohit mumble in a low voice, but it was audible.
Virat's heart sank hearing that from Rohit. Where was this coming from? was his first thought.
He gently pulled Rohit closer, not understanding what had triggered such words.
His mind raced, wanting to find the right words to comfort him, but the heaviness in the air left him unsure of how to ease the pain Rohit was feeling.
***
"And why do you think that?" Virat tried not to panic and asked gently, still running his hand through his hair to maintain the comfort. He knew his physical presence was helping Rohit.
Virat didn't receive any response, but he could feel tears soaking his shirt. It was so painful for Virat to see his Ro like that.
Virat gently removed his hand from Rohit's waist and broke the hug. He made Rohit sit up properly, cupped his cheeks, and wiped his tears. He noticed that Rohit wouldn't look at him.
"It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, leaving you," Virat said softly, kissing his forehead.
Rohit closed his eyes, more tears rolling down his cheeks as he felt loved and overwhelmed at the same time. He just cuddled closer to Virat, resting his head on his chest and holding him tightly.
Virat wrapped his arms around him.
"You deserve someone better than me," Rohit said, his voice filled with confusion. His brain told him one thing, but his heart refused to leave Virat's embrace.
Virat was shocked by those words. Before he could ask something he heard Rohit again.
"You deserve better than me!"
Rohit said this even though he didn't want to. His brain was sending all these thoughts, and he couldn't stop himself from saying them out loud.
Virat was shocked by that. He wanted to snap at Rohit, to ask why he would say something like that, but he held himself back.
"Acha? Who told you this? Did I ever tell you this or make you feel like that?" Rohit shook his head against Virat's chest, signaling a silent "no."
"Does anyone else's opinion matter to you except mine?" Virat asked softly, kissing the top of Rohit's head.
Again, Rohit shook his head, this time cuddling even closer to Virat.
Virat didn't push further. He thought to himself that at least he had uncovered part of what was bothering Rohit.
He hugged Rohit as tightly as he could, offering silent reassurance. Rohit looked up at him and saw nothing but love in Virat's eyes. The thought crossed his mind—how could someone love him so much?
Virat seemed to understand what Rohit was thinking. Without a word, he answered by pressing a lingering kiss on his forehead, his lips staying there for a few seconds longer.
Then, he kissed Rohit's tear-streaked eyes, which were red from all the crying.
Rohit clutched Virat's shirt tightly in his fists, overwhelmed by the depth of love and care in his actions.
"Never ever doubt yourself, or your love for me. No one, I repeat, no one, can love me like you do," Virat said, looking deeply into Rohit's eyes.
Rohit hugged him tightly, burying his face in Virat's neck. "These thoughts won't leave me, Vi," he mumbled against his neck.
"What thoughts, baby? Tell me," Virat asked softly, his voice full of concern.
"I'm not good enough for you. My looks... you could get someone better—like AB, Faf," Rohit said in a low voice, not wanting to upset Virat but also unwilling to hide it anymore. The last time he had kept something from Virat, it had led to them parting ways.
Virat felt numb for a moment, knowing that Rohit carried such insecurities. But he quickly composed himself because Rohit needed him now more than ever.
Virat gently made Rohit sit up in front of him, cupping his cheeks and wiping away his tears. "Kabse aa rahe hai yeh thoughts, Ro?" he asked softly.
"IPL," Rohit replied in a low voice. "Please don't be upset or angry," he added, avoiding Virat's gaze.
"Why would I be upset, love? I'm not," Virat assured him, holding his hands.
Though deep down, he felt a twinge of pain knowing Rohit had been struggling like this and hadn't talked to him earlier. But now wasn't the time to dwell on that.
Virat cupped Rohit's face, his fingers gently tracing the dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks, and his tired gaze. He could see how much Rohit had suffered.
"You haven't been sleeping well all this time because of these thoughts?" Virat asked softly.
"They always come back," Rohit said in a low voice.
"Even when I'm with you? Do they still come?"
"Sometimes... but not when I'm asleep because you hold me," Rohit admitted.
"Ro, we'll get through this together. Take as much time as you need. I'll be here, holding you at every step, okay, love?"
Rohit hugged him tightly, burying his face in Virat's chest. "I get scared, Vi. I don't want to lose you... lose this," he said, his voice trembling.
"You won't, Ro. I promise," Virat said firmly, pulling Rohit onto his lap and hugging him properly, enveloping him in warmth and reassurance.
After 5 minutes, Rohit got up from his lap, and Virat went down to check some lunch arrangements.
Rohit was taking a walk around the cottage. It was surrounded by water completely— it was just so calm.
Virat saw it from outside. He felt a little good seeing the calm look on Rohit's face, even for a while, when he was around water.
He did the arrangements for the lunch and went outside. He stepped in with Rohit and slowly intertwined his fingers with Rohit's.
Rohit was surprised at first but then saw Virat looking at him, giving him a soft smile, which made all his worries go away.
"You like the view?" asked Virat softly, leaning on his arm.
"Very much," Rohit said back.
They sat on the swing nearby. Rohit rested his head on his shoulder. Virat kept his fingers intertwined, caressing his knuckles with his thumb.
"You know I love you, right?"
"I know, Vi," Rohit said back, cuddling close to Virat. Virat put his arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer.
"Our hands fit together so perfectly, right?" said Virat, showing him their hands which were intertwined.
Rohit nodded against his chest and had a smile at Virat's little efforts to make him feel better.
They walked around a bit. When they were returning to the cottage, Rohit suddenly felt dizzy.
Virat noticed that Rohit had stopped. He saw him holding his head, trying to stabilize himself.
Virat rushed to him. "You okay?" he asked, supporting him.
Virat made him sit on the couch, but before he could bring water or anything, Rohit had fallen unconscious, scaring Virat to the core.
_____
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