Fluffy WangXian Oneshots Book Two

Long Suffering Senses

The sky is still a deep, dark blue when Lan Qiren steps out of his home, beginning his first walk of the day. He starts meditating on his steps as he breathes in and breathes out, slowly drawing on each lungful as he contemplates on the goodness it is doing for his body. It's still early and the cold morning air helps to wake him up. He's the first one to move about in the Cloud Recesses, and it's around the time that only the servants would be getting up to start the day as well.

He hears a strange cry and looks around quickly, hoping it's not an animal of some sort, in distress. He doesn't do well with any kind of animal, no matter how cute his nephews find the wild rabbits at the back hills of their home. The cry happens again, and this time, it's long drawn out. It is unmistakably that of a fox, or a small bear. Wild animals have been known to accidentally pass through the wards that have protected the Cloud Recesses over the years; especially near the base of trees and where the roots of the tallest pines have climbed out over the ground, because it's impossible to set the wards through a physical thing especially if it's growing. Wards are meant to protect around the shapes of buildings and trees and such, but if there's a way around it, it's a guarantee that something will succeed.

It's quite possible that the creature is in pain. Maybe it has hurt itself?

Lan Qiren is surprised that his nephew hasn't heard the animal and come out to investigate, seeing as his home is quite close to Lan Qiren's house. He must have heard the noise, it was so loud and chilling.

The sound comes again, a high pitched scream of unimaginable pain, and Lan Qiren steels himself, readying his mind to see something he does not wish to, but knows that it is part of his duty to help whatever it is. Now there are grunts following it. Lan Qiren can't tell if it's the same animal making both types of sounds, but if it is, then the being must be feeling so much pain! He hurries to the back of the Jingshi and looks around, trying to find the source of the disturbance.

It's still too dark to see clearly, but he can make out the shapes of some bushes...and are they moving? Dear Gods, it must be a large creature indeed!

But before Lan Qiren can say a word, the matter becomes clear most horrifically.

"Lan Zhan! Lan Er-Gege! You have worn out your poor Wei Ying! I can't feel my legs! Were we really this eager on our first time? I don't remember it being so chilly, for the most part." Then, a most familiar and awful chuckle. "How did you like it? A re-enactment of the first time you fucked me! I can't believe it's been over a month already! You know, if I was a girl, I'd be pregnant a thousand times over! Oh! Look at your poor pink ears! I love them so much! Haha, did I embarrass you? Oh, no!.... seriously? Are you-? Already?? Round four is it?"

And then, to his utter mortification, Lan Qiren hears his nephew, his own flesh and blood, say, "Mn. But Wei Ying has lost count. This is Round six!"

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, if you keep doing this, when are we supposed to rest? Have some mercy-" Another scream seals away any doubts that Lan Qiren might have had about where the noises were coming from. And who was making them.

But! Lan Qiren has heard enough!

More than enough!!

Shameless Nephew!! And that behaviour must be a result of his contamination by the even more shameless Wei WuXian!

He scurries away quickly before more words can be said, and before his presence is known. His own ears are burning!! They're so hot, it's a wonder they haven't turned to ashes and fallen off!!

Lan Qiren is in turmoil. All his peace and quiet of the mind has fled a hasty retreat, running for the hills! How could they do that??? Out in the open? Where anyone could see them? What kind of unrespectable, offensive behaviour have they stooped to, under his watch?