Inspired by Songs.......Gongfourz Oneshots (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Knees-Part 1:After the Silence

If I'm not all you need
Then just set me free
I'm down on my knees
If you're not the one for me
Then just let me be
I'm begging you, please

The car was still.
Not silent—just still.

The dashboard's faint glow painted Leehan's skin in soft blue light, and the hum of the heater buzzed low like it knew not to interrupt. Outside, city lights blinked in rhythm with the passing time neither of them acknowledged.

It had been fifty-three minutes.

Neither spoke.

Taesan gripped the steering wheel like he might shatter it. His jaw was clenched, but his eyes were soft—always soft when it came to Leehan. That softness was what hurt the most.

"I don't even know why we came here," Taesan muttered finally, voice low. "You haven't looked at me since we got in the car."

Leehan didn't flinch. "You asked me to come. I said yes."

"That's not the same as wanting to."

Leehan slowly turned to him. "Would you have preferred I lied?"

"I would've preferred you felt something." Taesan's voice cracked at the edge. "God, Leehan, do you even feel anything anymore when you're with me?"

The silence was sharp—sharper than anger.

Taesan shook his head and let go of the wheel, leaning back against the seat. He closed his eyes. "We don't fight anymore. We don't even touch. Do you notice that?"

"I notice everything," Leehan whispered.

That made Taesan look at him.

Leehan's hands were in his lap, fingers twisting the hem of his sleeves. "I notice that you reach for my hand and pull back halfway. I notice when you hesitate before saying 'I love you.' I notice when you look at me like I'm someone you used to know."

"And you say I pull back?" Taesan laughed bitterly. "You're a ghost in this relationship. I talk, and you nod. I kiss you, and you blink. I tell you I love you, and you look like you're trying to solve a math problem in your head."

"I'm scared," Leehan blurted, finally lifting his eyes.

Taesan blinked. "Of what?"

"Of losing you."

"You already did," Taesan said without thinking, and the moment the words left his mouth, he hated how real they felt.

Leehan inhaled sharply, but didn't respond. Taesan leaned forward, elbows on the wheel, hands over his mouth like they were holding in a scream.

"Then tell me," he whispered. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do. Because I'm—" he dropped his hands "—I'm exhausted. I'm begging for scraps of emotion from the one person who used to drown me in it."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true."

Leehan's voice dropped to a whisper. "You're still the only person I want."

"Then why do I feel so alone next to you?"

Leehan looked away. His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, eyes blinking fast to hold back tears.

"You say you want me, but it's like... you're reaching out from underwater," Taesan continued, his voice barely audible now. "I can't tell if you're asking me to save you or let you drown."

"I'm asking you to stay."

"But you don't let me in anymore!" Taesan's voice rose. "I feel like I'm loving a memory of you. Like I'm with someone who left but forgot to pack his things."

Leehan wiped at his eyes quickly with the back of his hand. "I didn't mean to become this."

Taesan's heart shattered a little more at the sight. "Then who did you mean to be? Because the Leehan I fell in love with... he laughed with me at 2 a.m. He danced barefoot in the kitchen. He kissed me in the rain, remember that?"

Leehan let out a weak laugh. "You were dripping wet and furious."

"But happy," Taesan smiled faintly. "We were happy. Weren't we?"

Leehan nodded. "We were."

"Then what happened to us?"

Leehan hesitated before whispering, "I think... I started believing I didn't deserve how much you loved me."

"Why?"

"I don't know. You made me feel like I was everything. And somewhere along the line, I forgot how to be that for you."

Taesan swallowed hard.

"Then maybe I held on too long," he murmured. "Hoping you'd come back."

A long pause.

"Maybe I will," Leehan said softly. "Just... not tonight."

Taesan looked at him, really looked at him. And he saw the boy he loved—still there, somewhere, hidden under all the fear and confusion.

But not reachable.

Not tonight.

The weight in Taesan's chest was unbearable. He rested his head against the steering wheel. "Then just set me free, Leehan. Please. If I'm not all you need... just say it."

"I can't say it."

"Because it's not true?"

"Because it is."

Silence.

Taesan blinked back the tears burning at his eyes.

"Then I'll go," he whispered, defeated. "I'm down on my knees, Leehan. I can't do this halfway anymore."

He started the car, headlights casting harsh shadows against the concrete wall of the lot.

Leehan reached for the door handle but hesitated. "Taesan..."

He looked over, hopeful—stupidly hopeful.

"Will you still love me after this?"

Taesan didn't answer right away. The ache in his chest did it for him.

"I don't think I'll ever stop."

And with that, Leehan opened the door and stepped into the cold night.

Taesan drove off without looking back.

And for the first time, Leehan didn't wait for a goodnight text.