Adopted by Fifth Harmony (BOOK 1)

My story

I've been asked by a few people to share my life story.. Well at least what's happened so far.

My parents had two other children before I was born, one boy and one girl. Then they had me and that's when problems started to happen. My dad hit me for the first time when I was three. My mom sent my older siblings to my aunts and uncles. I stayed with my mom. I was around the age of six when I got beat by my dad for the first time.  My mom was showering and he came home unexpectedly.

I started school that fall and kindergarten wasn't bad. Kids picked on me but I really didn't let it bother me. I thought they were joking with me. First grade was when things got worse. I was called names I never knew were actual words. I would come home everyday and cry. My mom would always ask what's wrong but I would just tell her I fell or something. Surprisingly she bought that every time.  That's when my anxiety and depression began. I also had a eating disorder.

When I went into middle school things went from verbal to physical I was pushed, shoved called names  and sometimes kicked That's also when I started cutting. I got bullied for every little thing I did. I had one friend at the time and she's still my bestfriend and she keeps me going today. I was still abused at home and my mom was pregnant with my little brother. I tried killing myself five times in those two years. I those two years I was also sexually abused by my dad.

Highschool started and the bullying got worse, I was getting beat at school and at home. I had to cover my bruises with makeup so my teachers and best friend didn't ask questions.  Freshman year I had a project with sky (best friend) and my dad came home early. I pushed sky in my closet and my dad beat me really bad. The worst thing was that sky saw the entire thing, I didn't close the door. He left and she ended up taking me to the hospital.i woke up three days later. My mom came and I was able to leave after two more days. I tried committing suicide more then I could count on my fingers but I failed ( obviously)  my mom left my dad when I was 12 with my little brother. She didn't want him to come after her so she left me with him. She said that she was going to call the police on him but that never happened. I cried myself to sleep every night and I was severely depressed. I was sent to a mental hospital for a month because my dad found out I was cutting. When I got out I was trying my hardest to stay clean and go make sure everything was in check. I was three months clean in February when I relapsed. I was medicated for anti depressants and anxiety.

These last year has been rough, my father passed away in a car accident and I can't help but think it was my fault. I was there when he died in his hospital bed. That ruined me. I started drinking and I was cutting more. I lost myself I graduated in May and and about a month ago I found out that I have cancer. At first I was pissed. I pushed a lot of people away. I went off my medication. I started cutting and I didn't want to eat. It wasn't because I was fat or anything I have been dropping weight because of chemo. I just refused to eat. I was hospitalized for being severely dehydrated and I wasn't eating and my stomach shrunk. I'm starting to loose hope and I'm wanting to give up. I live with my adoptive mom and my best friend. I stopped cutting and drinking.  They have been helping me a lot. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them.  People have told me I'm their inspiration but how can I be their inspiration when I can't even look myself in the mirror and see my reflection. My demons have come back and they have been winning. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. With everything that's been going on in loosing hope again.

So that's my life story so far... Minus a few other things that I have already said or I don't feel comfortable sharing sorry

To all of you struggling with anything.. Eating disorder, self harm, abuse, bullying, anything please stay strong. You always have someone and when you think you don't  have anyone..... you have me.

I'll have a chapter up soon thanks for reading you guys rock!
-Taylor
Thanks for over 17k!