It Doesn't Even Matter

Holidays past

Oliver sleeps through the night fine which surprises me and neither of us acknowledges it in the morning. I'm just glad he got some sleep for once. "Max," he turns to me when my hand is on the doorknob to my place the next day. "I'm going to be honest with you here, I don't know if I should come in with you or not."

"Because of my mom?"

"Because I don't know how I'll react to her trying to talk to me today. I don't..." he stops on the thought looking down at the ground.

"It's ok like I said she won't say anything to you, you have my word." He still looks a little unsteady on his feet so I reconsider this idea myself. "Let's go to Jake's?"

"You'll get in trouble."

"Have you ever known me to be someone afraid of that?" He nods, then nods again, and again and again as if trying to convince himself this would be fine.

"No I-" he sighs, "she really won't talk to me?"

"No, trust me I told her I would punch her in the throat if she did." He snorts smiling a little and motions for me to open the door both of us entering a house covered in decoration yet somehow still so much colder feeling than his apartment last night. Probably because of its size or the lack of connection I have to the people who live here in the same way I do with him.

"You did not."

"I so did, I said talk to my friend again and I'll punch you in the throat." I swing my arm around in the air like I'm going to punch him and he grabs onto my wrist.

"God that's not even how you throw a punch, you'd break your hand. Have I taught you nothing?"

"No," I say jogging up the stairs a little ahead of him. "Lucas and I were literally lost without you at school the last few months. My mom started asking if it was a new black eye or the same one as before because I always had one." He scrunches up his face and I realize that wasn't as funny as I thought. "Kidding, totally kidding... partially kidding." I add the last part when he clearly is unimpressed with my lie.

"Well, that doesn't make me feel good." He looks down at the floor for a moment and the distance between us is back a little.

"That's not on you and I was just poking fun anyways."

"Right."

We stand there and I want to add something to take back my statement or make it better but we'd both know whatever I would say wouldn't be true and it would get us nowhere. "Hey Oliver good to see you again, Merry Christmas." Mark says coming around the corner and moving around us down the stairs saving me from having to come up with something new to add. He's wearing the ugliest sweater I have ever seen. I mean there are Christmas sweaters that are trying to be ugly and then there's whatever the glittering monstrosity involving cats that he has on is.

"Yeah you too, Merry Christmas."

"We'll be down for dinner in a bit." I throw in watching him jump off the bottom step and shoot me two thumbs up.

"Did you see that sweater?" I ask trying to keep it together as I close my door behind us. "I don't even think it's intentionally ugly, it just is and I don't even know if he's realized it." Oliver shakes his head at me and collapses back onto my bed next to me.

"I've got to be honest I have no idea how your mom and him ended up together, I mean he's so..." he trails off looking up at me and I can see how exhausted he still is from this angle. Trying to casually lay on my bed not sitting up to talk to me and only actually looking at me partway. Focused more on the feeling of the mattress under him.

"So nice? Yeah me neither. I like him a lot actually, he a chill guy. I sort of hope it works out just so I can have a fully functioning adult in my life." It's a little rude but I don't have to pretend to be nice about things with Oliver, he gets that and feels the same.