It Doesn't Even Matter

Embarrassing stories

Hey guys! Sorry for the super late chapter this week! A really bad storm hit and knocked out the power. So that was super fun!! Yay!! (note my sarcasm.) Anyway, enjoy, and thanks again for reading!☺️
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I hadn't been to a party in over three years and to be honest even with Oliver by my side I was scared shitless. My hands were already shaking and I'd been picking at the skin around the nail of my thumb since this afternoon. It doesn't help that I know how big of a lie and how big of a risk this all was. I just wanted to have some fun and take things easy like I used to before, but this was different. It had to be. I had to be different. Glancing over at the clock above the radio in Oliver's car I let out an involuntary growl at how late it is. Nothing good ever comes from being out this late, at least not in my experience. "Are you sure you want to go to this party?" Oliver says letting his eyes momentarily shift to mine from the driver's seat.

"Yep, one hundred percent. This will be fun."

"I'm sure that sounded a lot more convincing in your head, but it sounded like you were unsure to me, and if you are then we shouldn't go. I don't want you putting yourself back into a bad situation for yourself just because you want to have fun." I bite my lip and keep my eyes facing out the window and away from him. It wasn't that I was unsure, I was just afraid and those were totally different, right? I needed this. I need the normalcy. I need the fun. I needed to be a teen again for one second of my life and not constantly be worried about what would come next.

No, this would be good for me. My heart was racing in that great way it does when it just can't hold itself in place anymore. It's frantically trying to grab onto anything steady. It's running wild and I was just trying to chase its pulse. To chase the feeling I used to get that this felt like it was leading too. Going to this party felt urgent in all of my fingers and toes. The rush was incredible and chilling. Fuck, what was I doing?

"I'm sure. Like I said, this will be fun. I want to go. Plus, it will give me a chance to get to know your other friends better." Hopefully that sounded a little more solid to him or like a good enough reason for us to go because we were going. I had to get this feeling out of my system quick and actually being there might help that. Plus I wasn't going to miss this opportunity with Brit. Oliver's face looks conflicted for a moment and he doesn't say anything, he just keeps driving. Maybe that wasn't the right thing to say. He had unsuccessfully tried to get his new friends and me to get along all day yesterday but it was awkward and stiff. Especially when they had been involved in what happened with Sofie's brother. That meant it wasn't just stiff between them and me. Oliver's relationship with them was strained now too.

"Look, don't feel any added pressure with that, especially tonight ok? They're dickheads and we don't need them. We'll have plenty of fun with your friends and on our own tonight. We don't even need to stay that long if y- if we don't want to."

"I'm not pulling you away from your friends because of a stupid incident between us. It was really no big deal." I had intentionally "forgotten" to tell Ollie about the hospital incident and he wouldn't have even learned about it if it wasn't for Drew's meddling. "Plus they apologize." Oliver still doesn't look convinced and I'm not really either. But for him, I could try to get along with them the same way they had actually been trying to with me. Even if they did suck I just wouldn't mention it.

"I guess... I'm sorry I wasn't there. I would have stepped in." I watch Oliver's hands tighten around the wheel as he speaks and I know him well enough to know tonight could go completely wrong in an instant. I'd have to be careful for the both of us. Unlike Lucas, Oliver had no problem starting a fight and he sure as hell could finish one. His dad taught him how to box before he died, and Oliver had never been afraid to stand up for himself or others when he believed you should. He'd thrown a punch for less than what they did to me in the hallway before. Stop, you don't need to go there Max. This will be fine. His friends did seem genuinely interested in getting to know me, so there should be no issues.