It Doesn't Even Matter

Tell me something real

Ok, my power is back ✔️, and our water is back on ✔️. Funny story about that actually, the toilets in our building were flooding the very nice restaurant below us.... 😂😂 I'm allowed to laugh ok, don't judge me. I was the one without water in the middle of me trying to get my final done! I swear I'm not a bad person lmao. What do you guys think though, hilarious or low key not funny at all and should be taken very seriously?Anywho, my quarter-final is done now too!✔️ So I should be jumping back into my more consistent schedule again! Sorry for the missed week and delay! Life has been 😮‍💨 Thanks for understanding!! 💛
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An hour later somehow this has turned into a drinking game, and surprisingly even watching them play it without participating is amusing. I feel like I'm sixteen nothing else added to it. No lingering trauma or fears taking over. For once I'm just me again. Being able to be here like this is more freeing than I ever thought was possible. I never thought that would happen again. I wasn't really sure I wanted it to. But now, I've been smiling so much that my cheeks hurt and I forgot that was something they could do. The conversation drifts back to Oliver telling a story about me, and I cringe at the memory. Still, I can't get my face to lower for more than a second.

"Smiles? Why Smiles?" Brit interrupts from her spot across from us making eye contact with me and grinning huge.

"Oh god, it was because he never stopped smiling. He was just too happy and energetic all of the time about everything. He could trip, scrap his face, and still stand up smiling or laughing about it. I swear this guy lives in his own universe. He even used to be friends with our old mailman, like say hi to each other and ask about the kid's school show friends. You know we actually used to play a game where-" he cuts himself off and we both share a look, our faces changing quickly. The mood in here has just died.

"Where what?" Sofie doesn't get it, none of them do. They're all too drunk and still think we're telling stupid embarrassing stories.

"Um never mind, it was a stupid game." Oliver plays with his hands and looks down at the table uncomfortably.

"No don't say that Ollie, now we have to know." I hate this guy Jake, I don't even know him and I officially hate him. I didn't like him before, but now, now I hate him. Oliver isn't doing well and it's like he can't even tell. It's clear no one else can tell, the difference is when Oliver introduced me to him, he specifically told me how close the two of them were and now he doesn't even see the look in his eyes. He of all people here besides me should see it. Oliver makes eye contact with me again over the table a silent question. I shrug one of my shoulders not really caring if he tells them or not. It won't mean something to them the same way it does to us. He can tell them about it if he wants.

"We used to play a game where we would try to break fake bad news to him to see if we could get him to stop smiling. But we did it too much and he caught on pretty quick so we always just ended up keeled over laughing." He says surprising me.

"Yeah trying to decide if you idiots had taken the game too far and we were being deranged or if saying a dog ate our neighbor's face off in his sleep was just hilarious." The table around us breaks out into hysterics again only it doesn't seem all that funny anymore and neither Oliver nor I laugh. I can see that Drew isn't laughing either his whole demeanor has changed too. Clearly he's caught on to all of this as well.

"We?"

"What?" I swear the room goes silent. It's like they all know the answer before the question actually comes out of Ryan's mouth and once it does the atmosphere in here shifts completely for everyone not just a us.

"You guys keep saying we puerile all night, so who else is we?"

They want a story. They want the drama of it all and I won't give it to them. "Just another friend of ours." This is hard on me but devastating for Oliver. I can tell from the look on his face. This just went from fun to crushing. It's none of their business. I would think it's an innocent question too if it wasn't for the fact that the room got so quiet and some of the rumors mentioned him dying. They aren't true, part of me wants desperately to shout at them that the things being said around school aren't true. But the rest of me knows it wouldn't do any good for this conversation to continue. It would only hurt Oliver more and blow everything up for the both of us. This has to stop here.