After Everything

Chapter 23

Days went well. Hindi na ako pinapansin ni Ice. Ito naman talaga ang gusto ko 'di ba? Tinutulungan lang ako ni Ice. Maya't maya akong nakatingin sakanya pero bihira ko na siyang makikitang nakatingin sa akin. Tila ba pinipigilan na niya ang sarili kahit sa pagtingin lang sa akin.

Naalala ko yung hapon na inimbita siya ni Kuya sa bahay. Doon kami nakapag-usap.

"Ano ba talaga ang gusto mong mangyari?" Humarap siya sa akin at seryosong itinanong ito.

"I don't know." Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano ba ang gusto kong mangyari sa aming dalawa maging kay Krizza. Pero desisyon ko ba talaga iyon?

"Tell me what do you want me to do. I'll do everything but don't ask me to unlike you. I can't do that, Kassandra." Napansin ko ang pag-iiba niya ng ekspresyon.

"Just... just give me time to fix everything. I am not giving you hope. This is very hard for me. For the first time in my life, I am not sure to what I am going to do. For the first time in my life, my decision is shakey. Please don't pressure me. Don't do things like this. Bigla ka na lang dadating. Bigla ka na lang nandito na sa tabi ko. Don't make this harder for me." Naramdaman ko na lamang ang kanyang mga kamay sa pisngi ko upang punasan ang aking mga luha.

"I'm sorry if I am the reason for these tears. I will do what you want. Lalayuan na muna kita. But remember that this is only temporary, okay? I will be back. I will wait for you." He smiled at me as if he is assuring me that everything will be fine.

After that conversation, nagpaalam na siya sa parents ko at kay kuya upang umuwi na. After he left, my mom hugged me and told me that he is proud on what I did. This just left Krizza to think about. But I still need to tell her what I really feel. We are not bestfriends for nothing.

Its been 2 weeks since Ice and I talked but I still haven't talk to Krizza.

We are currently on the library reviewing our university application.

"How's your abroad application?" Tanong ni Krizza sa akin na ikinagulat ni Mico.

"Abroad? Where specifically?" Mico asked. Ipinagkibit balikat ko na lang ang tanong ni Mico.

"I'm still waiting for the results thru email. Hindi ko nga alam kung naeexcite ba ako sa result o kinakabahan." Tumawa ako ng alanganin dahil doon.

"You took online application? Bakit hindi mo kami inaya? Sama sama sana tayo abroad. That's exciting!" Masayang sabi ni Mico.

"Krizza don't want to study abroad. I asked her." Inirapan niya ako dahil dito.

"I'm the only child, you know. I can't leave my parents." That's right. Kaya nagdadalawang isip rin ako kung itutuloy ko ang mga application ko to study abroad. Kuya might leave the house soon because he is getting married but I hope not really soon.

"So, how's Hera?" Pag-iiba ko ng topic.

"I don't know. So how about your local university application?" Pilit iniiba ni Mico ang usapan tuwing si Hera na ang topic. They mentioned their chosen university but I remained silent. I am just listening to them. I don't know how life become this complicated for me. My life is just simple way back then.

"Fine. May naipasa naman ako kahit papaano." Simpleng sagot ko kay Mico na inilingan ni Krizza.

"Tigilan mo ako sa may naipasa mo, Kath. Ang tanong ay kung may ibinagsak ka ba?" Inirapan niya ako at sabay silang tumawa ni Mico.

"Ikaw Krizza, saan mo balak mag-enroll?" Tanong ni Mico kay Krizza. 

"Kahit saan ako makakapasa. As long as malapit lang sa family ko." Simpleng sagot niya.